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One Man's Trash (currently 1724 views)
Posted: July 16th, 2017, 12:06pm
So, what are you writing?
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One Man's Trash
by Rene Claveau - Short, Romance - When a lonely man wins a storage locker at an auction, he finds more than he bargained for inside. 8 pages - pdf, format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted: July 18th, 2017, 9:08pm
January Project Group
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Nice short, Rene. Not everything needs a surprising twist to have an impact. Good job. Sorry I don't have much more to say. It's just that this hit the right buttons, and was an enjoyably quick read.
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Posted: July 19th, 2017, 12:25am
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Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's not my usual thing and I'm really happy with how it turned out.
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Posted: September 1st, 2017, 5:27am
English, self taught comedy writer
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Your characters are very likeable, and the relationship between Sue and James develops well. If you removed the gay porn references, you could expand your audience, and write something for the whole family. I'm not sure the porn added anything to your script. Your title page could do with a space underneath 'by'. I have no idea why, but I've seen the same mistake from a few people. At least I think it's a mistake...
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Posted: September 1st, 2017, 1:47pm
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Your characters are very likeable, and the relationship between Sue and James develops well. If you removed the gay porn references, you could expand your audience, and write something for the whole family. I'm not sure the porn added anything to your script.
I agree, it was a fun thing to throw in there but not necessary and it sticks out. Thanks for the feedback!
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