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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Portal
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Don
Posted: August 13th, 2019, 9:29am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

Location
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Portal by Chaitanya - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - This story's main goal is to give a message to all that how man is using earths resources and how earths resources are depleting. A sci-fi concept called parallel universe is used to pack this message in a more suspense and in a entertaining way and this scripts float on the narrative board.the story basically revolves around three characters but it turns out to be that there are actually 6 characters in the film including the characters in the parallel universe. 14 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  August 16th, 2019, 3:33pm
revised draft
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eldave1
Posted: August 13th, 2019, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



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Southern California
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There are many format errors and typos. Just in the first few lines as an example:


Quoted Text
SCENE 0:THE OPENING


Not needed - delete


Quoted Text
CUT-IN:


Not needed - delete


Quoted Text
INTAY-LAB


Wrong format. Should be:

INT - LAB - DAY

Read some scripts - do some Google research on format - there is a lot of structure stuff you need to get down.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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