Love Leaving Town by Christina Katsiadakis - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - On a bizarre night, violence erupts in the city. Unbeknownst to them, only few have made it through to see the dawn break.  8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Christina:

For the most part you write well with some really odd exceptions for someone who otherwise seems to have many aspects nailed.

Your scene headers are generally in the wrong format. Tons of places to get information on this including here is an example:

https://screencraft.org/2018/07/22/screenwriting-basics-the-keys-to-writing-correct-scene-headings/

Parentheticals - first there is a pretty robust discussion of them here:


https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/m-1553907192/s-new/


Just looking at two examples in your script:

Quoted Text EVE ( trying to sound optimistic) We will get through it, my love.

Get the ( ) down to one line. Maybe

(feigning optimism)

Quoted Text CARL (grim) Maybe we will, maybe we won't. Maybe it is time.

Grim not needed at all - we can tell from the dialogue and context it's grim.

Same here:

Quoted Text YOUNG MAN Be careful, boomer. ( provoking them) If you can still get it up, find a younger cunt.

We can tell he's provoking them - not needed.

Use active writing as much as possible - look for "is" and "ings" like here:

Quoted Text MARGARET is standing in front of her mirror,

Better as:

Margaret stands in front of the mirror...

There is so much of your writing that I like - your imagination and vividness are top notch - but you do need to do a little work on the bricks and mortar of the craft.