Some excellent writing on display here and a very thought-provoking, compelling story.

Sci-Fi, near future and yeah I'd say horror as the original Terminator was deemed a sci-fi horror. Budget wise, very doable as drones are quite cheap these days. There is a sci-fi meets superhero film on Netflix (can't think of the name now) that uses drones to great effect and that budget on that feature was low.

The problem I have at the moment with this script is just a bit of clarity. As it jumps to and fro between different characters with different body temperatures and skin colours (BTW - I had to look up what melanin meant) I wasn't sure what was going on and who was on which side? Was this drone attack a result of the virus. the race war or both? And who is on which side? Are there drones from both sides attacking here? Who is in control of them?

The drones not functioning so well at night sounds a bit too convenient, so have a think about that.


All of this is easily solved and this is a solid piece of work. I love the VO dialogue, some great lines there. My favourite so far.

-Mark

Topical, and nicely written. Not a lot of complaints. A little on the nose, but hey, that’s ok.

Like the concept of drones taking temperatures and a little girl calling them “bad planes,” it’s both cute and scary.

I really dislike the last line, though. Change that, and it’s solid all around. Actually, not sure i liked any of her dialogue, i would have liked it more if it seemed more modern or something. I have nothing to really suggest though, so I'll shut up.

good one.

The concept of a multiracial family caught in the middle of a race war with drones is a good one. I really felt for the little girl left alone at the end. I'd like to know more about this family and see them interact a little. That might make the ending a little more devastating. Keeping them removed from each other reduces the overall impact, I think. Overall, this is a good idea and a worthy script.

I was lukewarm at the end of this. The writing is quite good, but I felt the voice over didn't fit in well with the action on screen. It sets up the ending, which is okay, but I was waiting to see the little girl and she was only there at the end. I would have preferred seeing her sooner, maybe being hidden away before the deadly drone comes for her mother, to give her more of a presence.

The story isn't really about her. It's about her future. She's retelling her tragic past, the horrible times she came from. If you want us to connect with that, make her feel real. Just showing up at the end isn't enough, at least for me.

The only horror moments come early, and they're okay. The rest is sci-fi drama. The drones could be done fairly cheaply with real drones and some added visual effects to make them look like flying killers. Not easy though.

What I admire most about this is it could easily have been a soapbox commentary, or it could easily have taken itself too seriously with its heavy-handed message, but I felt it threads the needle nicely without tipping too far in either direction. Well done.

Hey all,

Thanks for the reads on this. Seems as if most people enjoyed it on some level. And special thanks to Michael and Jeff - yes, Jeff! for the kind words...

A little explanation - this was heavily influenced by 2 STAR TREK episodes. If you're a fan, try to figure out which ones...

The drones not being able to see well at night? It's more about people being able to hide more effectively in the dark.

I wanted to keep the fact that this was a family hidden until the reveal of Gigi as a bi-racial child.

As for the drones attacking for multi-purposes - in this world, the virus hasn't gone away. So both factions are interested in doing away with anyone who has a fever. There's no way to treat them, and they are a threat to both armies.

Whether or not this met the challenge for budget and horror is moot at this point, but I'm hoping the consensus ultimately is that drones are not really budget busters, and that drones that are sent to kill you can be just as terrifying as hairy beasts with big fangs... (0:

Thanks again all -

AJR

Hey, good morning all, sorry I haven't been here in a while...

And sorry for the shameless bump, however in case we have financiers browsing - I have interest in THE BAD PLANES and another of my socially themed scripts, I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, from a TV industry veteran. We've also talked about exploring some of my other similarly themed scripts, most of which come from the 5 week challenge (so THANK YOU Blondie!) and doing an anthology.

He'd like to direct, however since he's chasing funding on several of his own features, he doesn't have time to do it for these. He's going to send the scripts to his manager to see if we can get any traction but in the interim, if there are producers out there who want to work with a director who co-starred on an iconic TV show, DM me.

I realize that the money part is the hardest and it's more complicated because the director role is filled... but here's hoping.

thanks all -

AJR

Good luck, financing always a nightmare

Quoted from ajr Hey, good morning all, sorry I haven't been here in a while... And sorry for the shameless bump, however in case we have financiers browsing - I have interest in THE BAD PLANES and another of my socially themed scripts, I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, from a TV industry veteran. We've also talked about exploring some of my other similarly themed scripts, most of which come from the 5 week challenge (so THANK YOU Blondie!) and doing an anthology. He'd like to direct, however since he's chasing funding on several of his own features, he doesn't have time to do it for these. He's going to send the scripts to his manager to see if we can get any traction but in the interim, if there are producers out there who want to work with a director who co-starred on an iconic TV show, DM me. I realize that the money part is the hardest and it's more complicated because the director role is filled... but here's hoping. thanks all - AJR

Would love to see Bad Planes, especially, get made. I think it would make a fantastic segment in some sort of anthology -- perhaps one with socially conscious themes. It really is one of my favorite shorts that I've read.