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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  Whiteout on Route 89 - OWC
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  Author    Whiteout on Route 89 - OWC  (currently 9832 views)
LC
Posted: December 6th, 2017, 11:26pm Report to Moderator
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Atng,  thanks so much for the read and review.

FYI, this was an entry for a OWC,  (One Week Challenge).  SS has these challenges every few months. You get a week to write on a particular theme/genre, set page count etc. Hang around and you can partake.

Yep, this one is a little ambitious but I've been surprised in the past as some more seasoned filmmakers sometimes give them a go.

Thanks again for your kind words, glad you enjoyed it.


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Shakey
Posted: December 9th, 2017, 7:29am Report to Moderator
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Well that sounds exciting. OWC... QC... the joy of new acronyms!

Thanks for explaining. I found the board that described the October OWC, and saw people speculating about what the M means... and what the U means... though I didn’t manage to find where or how the actual challenge was posted. How do you find out when and what the next one is? I take it that Don makes it obvious somehow...

I’m hoping the next one turns up at a time when I can fully embarrass myself by gawkily taking part. Cringe.
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Grandma Bear
Posted: December 9th, 2017, 7:38am Report to Moderator
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There's usually an OWC in Jan, Apr, Jul and Oct.


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Shakey
Posted: December 9th, 2017, 7:48am Report to Moderator
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Thanks! Shame there isn’t one for the Christmas holidays. Or, like, more particularly in exactly one week’s time because that would suit me perfectly.
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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: October 2nd, 2023, 4:43pm Report to Moderator
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Hey you -- I wish I could’ve read the original so I have nothing to reference back to. Sorry, I know, some peeps are a bit finicky about digging up their older scripts, but this one isn't too terribly old --

Anywaz -- great work, Gurl -- you tell the story in a cinematic style, and descriptions are clear and lean, getting the rather gory ideas across while exercising some welcome restraint. Definitely thumbs up on the dialogue. if it's going to carry much of the freight, it has to really zing off the page, and yours does. Especially Reg's.

What I really luv about it, the way you captured the plights between Reg/Edie&the deer, and having the man put the deer out of his or her  misery was absolutely brilliant!

A trivial thing. The "twist" at least for me... wasn't much of one at all. Really.  I mean, you sort of gave it away with the memory flashes, and some of Edie's defensive responses to Reg's questions got my spidey - senses on high alert, but hey, it didn't stop me from enjoying it to the end and expressing approval.

I dunno, maybe it was a good thing cos it makes me feel like you weren’t banking on the twist too much to carry it, which is a +.  If that makes sense. Overall, a very good smooth enjoyable read. Top draw. -A




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LC
Posted: October 2nd, 2023, 7:05pm Report to Moderator
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Ooh, a blast from the past, thanks Andrea!

Your notes are spot on.
Atmosphere - tick.
Ending - a little underwhelming, or at least not entirely satisfying for most.

Funny I was looking at the thread and noticed Kham's comment about the husband obviously abusing the Edie. I originally wanted to highlight the atypical - an abusive woman character making her partner's life a misery and that in the end she goes too far.

Of course naturally we assume Edie is victim but she's perpetrator. I wanted more focus on that aspect without any kind of suggestion of infidelity but it would have meant more focus on the husband when OWC parameters were two characters in a car.

I was pretty pleased with it regardless of that.
Great main male character name, dontcha' think?  


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