All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
FYI, this was an entry for a OWC, (One Week Challenge). SS has these challenges every few months. You get a week to write on a particular theme/genre, set page count etc. Hang around and you can partake.
Yep, this one is a little ambitious but I've been surprised in the past as some more seasoned filmmakers sometimes give them a go.
Thanks again for your kind words, glad you enjoyed it.
Well that sounds exciting. OWC... QC... the joy of new acronyms!
Thanks for explaining. I found the board that described the October OWC, and saw people speculating about what the M means... and what the U means... though I didn’t manage to find where or how the actual challenge was posted. How do you find out when and what the next one is? I take it that Don makes it obvious somehow...
I’m hoping the next one turns up at a time when I can fully embarrass myself by gawkily taking part. Cringe.
Hey you -- I wish I could’ve read the original so I have nothing to reference back to. Sorry, I know, some peeps are a bit finicky about digging up their older scripts, but this one isn't too terribly old --
Anywaz -- great work, Gurl -- you tell the story in a cinematic style, and descriptions are clear and lean, getting the rather gory ideas across while exercising some welcome restraint. Definitely thumbs up on the dialogue. if it's going to carry much of the freight, it has to really zing off the page, and yours does. Especially Reg's.
What I really luv about it, the way you captured the plights between Reg/Edie&the deer, and having the man put the deer out of his or her misery was absolutely brilliant!
A trivial thing. The "twist" at least for me... wasn't much of one at all. Really. I mean, you sort of gave it away with the memory flashes, and some of Edie's defensive responses to Reg's questions got my spidey - senses on high alert, but hey, it didn't stop me from enjoying it to the end and expressing approval.
I dunno, maybe it was a good thing cos it makes me feel like you weren’t banking on the twist too much to carry it, which is a +. If that makes sense. Overall, a very good smooth enjoyable read. Top draw. -A
Your notes are spot on. Atmosphere - tick. Ending - a little underwhelming, or at least not entirely satisfying for most.
Funny I was looking at the thread and noticed Kham's comment about the husband obviously abusing the Edie. I originally wanted to highlight the atypical - an abusive woman character making her partner's life a misery and that in the end she goes too far.
Of course naturally we assume Edie is victim but she's perpetrator. I wanted more focus on that aspect without any kind of suggestion of infidelity but it would have meant more focus on the husband when OWC parameters were two characters in a car.
I was pretty pleased with it regardless of that. Great main male character name, dontcha' think?