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The Good Samaritan by Ronald Nengere - Short, Thriller - A good man's life takes a dramatic turn when he steals from a woman he was trying to help. 10 pages - pdf format
I did enjoy the story, pretty cool, with a good twist. Good title too.
I felt Dialogue improved when Ray met Detective Grant. Some good exchanges.
Action needs more tightning and show the reader what's going on, don't tell. (Ex: when Ray opens the trunk. P4:. "He opens the trunk, stares at a body riddled with bullets). That's all you need to show, before he gets the spade ... Just an example how I would stream line and make it more visual.
SPOILERS: So Ray just decided to become a criminal when he spotted the money? It's hard to create a lot of back stories in short scripts, but I wonder if showing Ray biking by a few cars, peeking in, before he got to Liz would give us a little bit more insight into what Ray was up to.
Some nit-picks and thoughts: P1: Don't repeat in Action what's in the slug-line (Highway). P3: Be consistent with slugs (stay with PETROL STATION or SERVICE STATION). General: In Action, words like, "is, has, does", these tell the reader more than show the reader what's going on. General: look/goes/walk etc. - these are generic (how does a person walk?). p5: Missing slugs. Ray carries the body into the woods (might need a new slug). Not sure if you need another slug to indicate Ray stayed overnight (arrested), or just make the Interrogation at "Dusk." P7: I would use Liz instead of Woman. General: Some punctuations (".") missing in Dialogue and Action. P3: "before before" General: CONT'D not used that much anymore.
Overall, you have a good story with a twist. I did enjoy reading it.