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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  The Mountain King Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Mountain King  (currently 3685 views)
Don
Posted: January 27th, 2008, 5:31pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Mountain King by Mike Prevette - Thriller - A stranger arrives in a small mountain town and quickly finds himself caught between a two predatory women and a ruthless businessman who will stop at nothing to get what he wants.  105 pages - pdf, format


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Limey
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Hi Mike

This is a great script, I really got into and actually read it through twice, so that can't be bad!

I know you've said action is your strong suit and it really shows in this - your writing makes it so easy to visualise what's happening and you somehow cause me to read faster and faster as the action accelerates. I'm definitely going to steal, er, I mean emulate, your style in my own scripts.   And the chase in the department store - genius, that'll look awesome.

The characters are all well developed and individual. I love Janet and Lucas is just as cool as can be. There isn't really much opportunity to show anything of Moore other than his ruthless, intimidatory manner but that doesn't detract too much - he had some great dialogue which made him completely believable.

And moving onto the dialogue, very natural, couldn't fault it. Not much more I can say about it.

Pacing - spot on. Never dragged nor felt relentless. Just right. The opening scenes really drew me in - you got all the information you needed to into the first 10-15 pages and some nice action. Excellent.

What I do think you could perhaps improve on is the plot. It's fine, don't get me wrong, but for a Noir piece I didn't feel it was quite labyrinthine enough...



********************SPOILERS*******************************

We know by page 25 that Moore is harrassing Sharon to get her land... and that is exactly what is happening. It should be more complicated than this, with dead ends and red herrings blah blah blah. There were a couple of reveals - that Sharon had used Larry and Janet was Moore's ex - but they didn't really send the plot off in a new direction.

The twists at the end I felt kind of came out of nowhere. I know you hinted at them in a line or two of dialogue but I think that was too subtle. The fact that Sharon was Moore's daughter was a nice twist and worked well as it served to push her over the edge but I would have liked to seen some hint earlier in the script that there was something wrong with her home life when she was growing up.

The fact that Moore had forced Janet into pornography I felt came too late to make much difference. I guess it was a mirror of Nick's backstory with his mother but ultimately it didn't impact anything - or was it meant to threaten his relationship with Janet? I'm not quite sure but ultimately I didn't really like the whole Janet subplot anyway  . I think her being married to Moore was a bit convenient and I wasn't really sure why she hadn't left town a long time ago - there wasn't anything there for her and it sounds like Moore was abusing her every now and then. I think you could come up with a better story for her, something that complicates the main plot by forcing Nick to choose between Janet or Sharon, which I don't think he is ever really forced to do.

As for the climax, although I like the way Sharon went completely mental it left Nick pretty much passive, which somehow felt wrong. Maybe you're saying that he killed someone previously and when faced with a similar situation, he didn't do so again but I didn't really see it like that - he never had to make that choice because Sharon took the initiative. I'd like to see Nick forced to make some sort of choice at the end - he needs a final test vs the antagonist (or is the very fact that he's gone to confront Moore his test?)

Other minor points;

p30 The first time I read this I didn't connect the news story with the torture scene at the beginning - maybe find someway to link it (or it could just be me being dumb )

p48 Sharon's "take care of him" speech seems to suggest she wants to kill Moore (or maybe that's just me) and feels at odds with her later reaction to Nick's backstory.

p51 They want him to leave but they slash his tyres... hmmm

p74 Why doesn't Moore just tip off Nick's parole officer? It would seem a far easier way to get rid of him.

p78 Why is it only Wolf after Nick. There have been at least two thugs each time before

p85 Not sure why Nick isn't thrown against the dashboard and stunned as well as Lucas.



OK, that's it! As I said, I really liked this, definitely glad I read it (twice).

Cheers

Adam


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mikep
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Quoted Text
What I do think you could perhaps improve on is the plot. It's fine, don't get me wrong, but for a Noir piece I didn't feel it was quite labyrinthine enough...


valid point, initially it was a lot more complex and that drew complaints so I made it a bit simpler, but those complaints may have been that my complex plotting wasn't clear :p - I do thnk it might benefit from a few red herrings.


Quoted Text

The fact that Moore had forced Janet into pornography I felt came too late to make much difference. I guess it was a mirror of Nick's backstory with his mother but ultimately it didn't impact anything - or was it meant to threaten his relationship with Janet? I'm not quite sure but ultimately I didn't really like the whole Janet subplot anyway  . I think her being married to Moore was a bit convenient and I wasn't really sure why she hadn't left town a long time ago - there wasn't anything there for her and it sounds like Moore was abusing her every now and then. I think you could come up with a better story for her, something that complicates the main plot by forcing Nick to choose between Janet or Sharon, which I don't think he is ever really forced to do.


The porn angle was more to show how far Janet's reality had fallen from her dreams, from being a showgirl to being drunk and posing for half-assed porn. You're right in that it might not make much of a difference so late in the game.



Quoted Text
As for the climax, although I like the way Sharon went completely mental it left Nick pretty much passive, which somehow felt wrong. Maybe you're saying that he killed someone previously and when faced with a similar situation, he didn't do so again but I didn't really see it like that - he never had to make that choice because Sharon took the initiative. I'd like to see Nick forced to make some sort of choice at the end - he needs a final test vs the antagonist (or is the very fact that he's gone to confront Moore his test?)


For Nick I had always wanted him to be if not passive, then being led along by events and the women, being beguiled by them. He takes action early by defending Sharon in the street and that gets him into the whole mess. In the end as he skulks outside Moore's at the end and gets into the fight, he's forced to kill. At the end he reacts instead of acts at that point as it's all out of his control, like Gittes at the end of Chinatown, all he can do is witness. Now overall that may add up to him being a bit weak...but I had thought he begins strong, then falls in with the women and is lead along, gaining strenght towards the end with the store chase and the police car scene, but then at the end all he can do is react.


Quoted Text
p30 The first time I read this I didn't connect the news story with the torture scene at the beginning - maybe find someway to link it (or it could just be me being dumb )
That might be a bit of a weak connection, not you



Quoted Text
p74 Why doesn't Moore just tip off Nick's parole officer? It would seem a far easier way to get rid of him.
OK interesting, had not thought about that but it could be a good vaild threat to use.


Quoted Text
p85 Not sure why Nick isn't thrown against the dashboard and stunned as well as Lucas.
had hoped to show he was better prepared and braced since he caused the crash...I'll look at it.


THANKS for the read and the notes Adam, very much appreciated!




13 feature scripts, 2 short subjects. One sale, 4 options. Nothing filmed. Damn.

Currently rewriting another writer's SciFi script for an indie producer in L.A.
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Limey
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Quoted from mikep
valid point, initially it was a lot more complex and that drew complaints so I made it a bit simpler, but those complaints may have been that my complex plotting wasn't clear :p - I do thnk it might benefit from a few red herrings.

Ha ha, guess you can't please everyone  


Quoted from mikep
For Nick I had always wanted him to be if not passive, then being led along by events and the women, being beguiled by them. He takes action early by defending Sharon in the street and that gets him into the whole mess. In the end as he skulks outside Moore's at the end and gets into the fight, he's forced to kill. At the end he reacts instead of acts at that point as it's all out of his control, like Gittes at the end of Chinatown, all he can do is witness. Now overall that may add up to him being a bit weak...but I had thought he begins strong, then falls in with the women and is lead along, gaining strenght towards the end with the store chase and the police car scene, but then at the end all he can do is react.

I was thinking of Chinatown as I read it! I definitely see your point and I really like the way Nick is active throughout but at the same time definitely not in control. There's just something about the end doesn't quite feel right to me (but that's probably just me). Maybe it's because Moore does get his comeuppance but it's not Nick who delivers it, whereas in Chinatown Cross gets away with it. I'll have a think and try and pinpoint it.


Was this one of the scripts that was optioned? If so I can definitely see why




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mikep
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Was this one of the scripts that was optioned? If so I can definitely see why


Yep I did get optioned on this. Originally I worked with a small company in Arizona on what was to be a traditional western, horses and six-shooters, the whole deal. After we worked out the story they decided to make the story a "modern-day western" and I updated everything, we changed from the desert to a mountain location and so on. Next step was for the director to decide the story needed to go in another direction so this script was abandoned entirely and we went on to another story ( which turned into another script that ended up unused). Then 2 years ago this was optioned by an indie outfit from Texas, but that dried up pretty fast.

Thanks for the kind words Adam, much appreciated.






13 feature scripts, 2 short subjects. One sale, 4 options. Nothing filmed. Damn.

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ericdickson
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[face=Courier][/face]

Just finished this.  This was a fast, fun read with some funny one-liners and some real goofy, stereotypical characters.  The story is a typical "western noir" with hints of at least five other films I can think of, including RED ROCK WEST, MALONE, WALKING TALL, ROAD HOUSE and FIRE DOWN BELOW.  

First, you have your star character, Gunn, whose car (in this case a motorcycle) breaks down in a dusty town, the love triangle between two dangerous and mysterious women, Janet and Sharon, the evil land developer Moore trying to "scare" the hapless victim off her property, the two inept and incompetent hitmen Mutt and Jeff, and of course, the corrupt Sheriff who is too tired and too weak to fight the corruption in his town.

All of these elements are typical of this western noir genre.  But it seems to me you embraced all of these typical genre stereotypes and turned it into a parody of these forementioned films.  As a parody, it is a lot of fun.  The dialogue seems to be written as to mock some earlier films with similar plots.  

The Sheriff is the best written as he warns Gunn to leave the town in one piece.  His dialect and way of talking is so far beyond stereotypical it's funny and becomes a well-written parody of crooked Sheriff characters. (Was this your intention?)

Janet is another plot device used in similar films.  The big breasted waitress at the local diner looking for action, who knows everything that goes down in this small, corrupt town.  She is the next best written because she is so far beyond the typical stereotype that she becomes a larger version of herself.  She really jumped off the page and was clear early on that she would be the dangerous temptress of your story.  

Sharon and Gunn's quick roll in the sheets seems to be a bit forced and happens too fast, but this is later explained when Larry tells Gunn that she did the same thing to him.  In most noirs, the woman who we trust the most (Sharon) turns in the end, and the more dangerous woman (Janet) becomes the main love interest.  You did that here with Janet and I liked this.

As for the main plot, this has been done a thousand times.  The land developer wants the piece of land he cannot get and our mysterious hero comes in and stops the deal.  I'm sure you've seen at least five or six other films with the exact same plot, so I assume you embraced this idea and ran with it.  The fight scenes weren't anything special and most of the tough guy characters didn't do much for me.  Mutt and Jeff had a few good lines here and there, calling him a "bent dick" and some other good cut downs, warning Gunn to move on.  It reminded me a lot of Seagal's earlier films where he would destroy a bar full of loud-mouths.  This was fun, but wears thin after the first six or seven times they threaten Gunn.

One of your other posters mentioned calling Gunn's parole officer to come get him.  This could be a good twist if you decide to do a re-write on this.  This seems more believable, but then again, this is an unbelievable story.  

The threesome scene was definitely hot and would be a lot of fun to see (especially Janet), but out of place in this story.  Unless you are really parodying this genre with the female characters, which it seems like you're doing.  They seem more like sexual objects than characters.  They exist only to confuse Gunn and keep him from leaving town.  

All n all, some very good dialogue from most of your characters, except Gunn.  He seemed to be a one-dimensional guy.  But, then again, his character is one-dimensional, so I guess his dialogue works.  The plot devices were obvious, especially Janet being Moore's wife.  The internet porn angle is a bit out of place with the rest of the story and the climax didn't do much for me.  This really felt like you were making fun of your story.  It seemed like self mockery.  The actual ending in the jail cell was kind of cool and abrupt.  I like endings that come out of nowhere and break the mold of typical Hollywood.  

Your dialogue and formatting are well above average and some of the best I've seen on this site in a long time.  Personally, I would pick a different genre next time and really focus on creating something original and thought provoking.  You definitely have the ability to do something great.  Don't limit yourself.  This is the number one complaint I get from people about my work.  It is good, but too typical and safe.  Step outside the box and do something different.  Use your strongpoints and create an original story out of them.  

Take care,
Eric                                        
              
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mikep
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Quoted Text

Just finished this.  This was a fast, fun read with some funny one-liners and some real goofy, stereotypical characters.  The story is a typical "western noir" with hints of at least five other films I can think of, including RED ROCK WEST, MALONE, WALKING TALL, ROAD HOUSE and FIRE DOWN BELOW.  


Thanks for the read, Eric. Much appreciated. The script began a few years back while I was working with in indepenant producer in Arizona, and the idea was to do a noir western...actually the initial treatment was a western, with the hero riding into town on his horse. Yes, it's a tribute, tongue in cheek at times, to not only nior films but noir pulp fiction as well.


Quoted Text

All of these elements are typical of this western noir genre.  But it seems to me you embraced all of these typical genre stereotypes and turned it into a parody of these forementioned films.  As a parody, it is a lot of fun.  The dialogue seems to be written as to mock some earlier films with similar plots.    The Sheriff is the best written as he warns Gunn to leave the town in one piece.  His dialect and way of talking is so far beyond stereotypical it's funny and becomes a well-written parody of crooked Sheriff characters. (Was this your intention?)


It wasn't done as any kind of mockery or parody, I don't want anyone to think they're going to read a Zucker brothers comedy, but yes you did get that some of it was my attempt to do a sly, sometimes low key satirical take on noir and the conventions of noir, but at the same time, keep it a story grounded in violence, sex and betrayals, something the audience has a stake in. If it works for the audience on the thriller level, great - if someone also thinks it's a bit of a wink at the "hard boiled" genre, that's good too.


Quoted Text

Janet is another plot device used in similar films.  The big breasted waitress at the local diner looking for action, who knows everything that goes down in this small, corrupt town.  She is the next best written because she is so far beyond the typical stereotype that she becomes a larger version of herself.  She really jumped off the page and was clear early on that she would be the dangerous temptress of your story.[/qoute]  Glad you thought so, I really wanted her character to come alive.

[quote]
Sharon and Gunn's quick roll in the sheets seems to be a bit forced and happens too fast, but this is later explained when Larry tells Gunn that she did the same thing to him.  In most noirs, the woman who we trust the most (Sharon) turns in the end, and the more dangerous woman (Janet) becomes the main love interest.  You did that here with Janet and I liked this.

As for the main plot, this has been done a thousand times.  The land developer wants the piece of land he cannot get and our mysterious hero comes in and stops the deal.  I'm sure you've seen at least five or six other films with the exact same plot, so I assume you embraced this idea and ran with it.  The fight scenes weren't anything special and most of the tough guy characters didn't do much for me.  Mutt and Jeff had a few good lines here and there, calling him a "bent dick" and some other good cut downs, warning Gunn to move on.  It reminded me a lot of Seagal's earlier films where he would destroy a bar full of loud-mouths.  This was fun, but wears thin after the first six or seven times they threaten Gunn.


Right - it's still in keeping with the original angle of the script which was a wild west noir, saloons, horses and such, the evil land baron wanting to get that last unspolied strecth of land to make way for the railroads. I think it may even work better if it was redone completely, setting it back in the old west as originally intended. But again, yes -  what I wanted to do was take the same conventions we see in these type films, embellish them to a degree, then at points, twist them, do something different with them. The fights are solid but familiar, I think the female fist fight towards the end would be the most surpsring turn maybe in terms of expected action. Gunn has his as well but he reacts most of the time - only really taking charge very late in the story.


Quoted Text

The threesome scene was definitely hot and would be a lot of fun to see (especially Janet), but out of place in this story.  Unless you are really parodying this genre with the female characters, which it seems like you're doing.  They seem more like sexual objects than characters.  They exist only to confuse Gunn and keep him from leaving town.  

That scene, and that theme, need beefing up as I wanted a deep emotional rivalry between the two women, who are using Gunn just as their pawn to get an edge over each other. One person on another board caught this and liked the idea, that the threesome scene isn't even about Gunn at all, it's about the women.  That's the point there, it's not intended to be parody, nor reduce the women to objects, but in that case Gunn is the object - of course we learn that from the beginning that's really all he was to Sharon, but this scene was to illuminate the tension and one-upmanship between the two and add to their emotional conflicts which flare into the fist fight later.


Quoted Text

All n all, some very good dialogue from most of your characters, except Gunn.  He seemed to be a one-dimensional guy.  But, then again, his character is one-dimensional, so I guess his dialogue works.  The plot devices were obvious, especially Janet being Moore's wife.  The internet porn angle is a bit out of place with the rest of the story and the climax didn't do much for me.  This really felt like you were making fun of your story.  It seemed like self mockery.  The actual ending in the jail cell was kind of cool and abrupt.  I like endings that come out of nowhere and break the mold of typical Hollywood.  
[/quote|  Well, again, your response is very interesting as you do see it to be more of a parody than it's intended. Larger than life in places Was intentional yes but at no point did I actually try to make fun of the story. Interesting take, I'll look at that.

[quote]
Your dialogue and formatting are well above average and some of the best I've seen on this site in a long time.  Personally, I would pick a different genre next time and really focus on creating something original and thought provoking.  You definitely have the ability to do something great.  Don't limit yourself.  This is the number one complaint I get from people about my work.  It is good, but too typical and safe.  Step outside the box and do something different.  


Thanks for the thumbs up. I agree it's not an entirely original story, as the point was to take some established genre conventions and toy with them. I also did another script in a similar vein, which really does goes to some of the outlandish , almost parody terriotory you mentioned, it's a pastiche of 70's chicks-in-chains/female-outlaws type films; that one ( not posted here) really pushed some boundaries and buttons.

But thanks again, feedback is welcome. Am still debating on if the rewrite should actually make this the western it was intended to be.

On a side note, I had to work some long shifts unexpectedly over the weekend so am delayed getting your review up. However I am halfway through and will have it finished in a few days, sorry for that delay.


13 feature scripts, 2 short subjects. One sale, 4 options. Nothing filmed. Damn.

Currently rewriting another writer's SciFi script for an indie producer in L.A.
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ericdickson
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Quoted from mikep


Thanks for the read, Eric. Much appreciated. The script began a few years back while I was working with in indepenant producer in Arizona, and the idea was to do a noir western...actually the initial treatment was a western, with the hero riding into town on his horse. Yes, it's a tribute, tongue in cheek at times, to not only nior films but noir pulp fiction as well.



It wasn't done as any kind of mockery or parody, I don't want anyone to think they're going to read a Zucker brothers comedy, but yes you did get that some of it was my attempt to do a sly, sometimes low key satirical take on noir and the conventions of noir, but at the same time, keep it a story grounded in violence, sex and betrayals, something the audience has a stake in. If it works for the audience on the thriller level, great - if someone also thinks it's a bit of a wink at the "hard boiled" genre, that's good too.



Right - it's still in keeping with the original angle of the script which was a wild west noir, saloons, horses and such, the evil land baron wanting to get that last unspolied strecth of land to make way for the railroads. I think it may even work better if it was redone completely, setting it back in the old west as originally intended. But again, yes -  what I wanted to do was take the same conventions we see in these type films, embellish them to a degree, then at points, twist them, do something different with them. The fights are solid but familiar, I think the female fist fight towards the end would be the most surpsring turn maybe in terms of expected action. Gunn has his as well but he reacts most of the time - only really taking charge very late in the story.


That scene, and that theme, need beefing up as I wanted a deep emotional rivalry between the two women, who are using Gunn just as their pawn to get an edge over each other. One person on another board caught this and liked the idea, that the threesome scene isn't even about Gunn at all, it's about the women.  That's the point there, it's not intended to be parody, nor reduce the women to objects, but in that case Gunn is the object - of course we learn that from the beginning that's really all he was to Sharon, but this scene was to illuminate the tension and one-upmanship between the two and add to their emotional conflicts which flare into the fist fight later.



Thanks for the thumbs up. I agree it's not an entirely original story, as the point was to take some established genre conventions and toy with them. I also did another script in a similar vein, which really does goes to some of the outlandish , almost parody terriotory you mentioned, it's a pastiche of 70's chicks-in-chains/female-outlaws type films; that one ( not posted here) really pushed some boundaries and buttons.

But thanks again, feedback is welcome. Am still debating on if the rewrite should actually make this the western it was intended to be.

On a side note, I had to work some long shifts unexpectedly over the weekend so am delayed getting your review up. However I am halfway through and will have it finished in a few days, sorry for that delay.


No problem.  Looking forward to it.

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Nerfsmurf
Posted: June 6th, 2008, 3:03am Report to Moderator
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Just like I promised I've read your script.


One thing that really struck me with your writing is your superb use of plot and how your story unfolds.

almost every ten pages you have a plot turning point where the action spin the story in another direction and keep story moving at a cracking pace.

Plus you know how to end a scene at just the right moment when something  bad happens and the hero has to do something about it. favourite one was when after have street fight with thugs, hero cruise back on bike Sharon house to find it on fire. Plus other scene when hero learn that dog is sick and keeled over because their is poison in dog water dish  

The story flows quickly and you never once stop the momentum of your story with set up scenes or a scene that goes no where.

While your story structure and script formatting is perfect, the content of the script I found a little dull.

The characters and situation such as rich bastard want to steal damsel's house so stranger be the hero and save the day seemed B-grade and in a creative sense lazy. Which is not a bad thing I guess as Hollywood seems to greenlight these sort of scripts everyday.  But for me, reading this script was not entertaining.

I do not like the women in your script at all they are weak and shallow and just their to give Gunn a reason to be heroic, make him look like a hero by being needy and want his attention and going as far as polishing his knob with their lips when they can't get his attention.

Have the whole love triangle thing solved near the end by having Janet and Sharon throw themselves at Gunn at once and get busy with a threesome put me right off.

Also be careful with your dialouge. page 55 you a have huge exposition dump of info to reveal Gunn history. as soon as I saw it I just skipped it and kept reading.  Just visualize an actor just standing there and saying all that dialouge for a  minutes or two straight.  In a movie that wouldn't be fun to watch. That's how I look at it.  

You have a knack for writing a solid compelling plot structure. I just found the story and characters average.    

    
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Quoted from Nerfsmurf

One thing that really struck me with your writing is your superb use of plot and how your story unfolds.

almost every ten pages you have a plot turning point where the action spin the story in another direction and keep story moving at a cracking pace.

Plus you know how to end a scene at just the right moment when something  bad happens and the hero has to do something about it. favourite one was when after have street fight with thugs, hero cruise back on bike Sharon house to find it on fire. Plus other scene when hero learn that dog is sick and keeled over because their is poison in dog water dish  

The story flows quickly and you never once stop the momentum of your story with set up scenes or a scene that goes no where.
Many many thanks. While not perfect, there are many things I like about the script and it's pacing in particular. That's something that I maybe focus on above all, not boring the reader and keeping things moving. A few readers on other sites have mentioned the pacing and vivid action in some of my scripts, so again, thanks.


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While your story structure and script formatting is perfect, the content of the script I found a little dull.

The characters and situation such as rich bastard want to steal damsel's house so stranger be the hero and save the day seemed B-grade and in a creative sense lazy. Which is not a bad thing I guess as Hollywood seems to greenlight these sort of scripts everyday.  But for me, reading this script was not entertaining.

Interesting reply. Yes there is no doubt, the plot elements are B movie, specifically B move on purpose. The original outline was for a traditional western - in the 1800's - so I picked a story tried and true, but wanted to do different things with that story. For some it was successful, for some, including you, not so much. Maybe the story needed more variation, more updating...?


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I do not like the women in your script at all they are weak and shallow and just their to give Gunn a reason to be heroic, make him look like a hero by being needy and want his attention and going as far as polishing his knob with their lips when they can't get his attention.
Have the whole love triangle thing solved near the end by having Janet and Sharon throw themselves at Gunn at once and get busy with a threesome put me right off.

Odd...I actually feel the opposite, that Gunn was the weaker one, being led around by the women. He has some heroic acts, but aside from his first act that gets him tossed in jail, he basically reacts/supports the women until close to the end.

The threesome maybe didn't come off as clearly as I'd hoped, but I think it's still in there - that it's more a contest between the women and Gunn is just - pardon the expression - their tool. Is there enough animosity there to make this clear? Maybe - maybe not. I do want it to be understood that he's just the vehicle Sharon uses, and Janet to a lesser degree.


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Also be careful with your dialouge. page 55 you a have huge exposition dump of info to reveal Gunn history. as soon as I saw it I just skipped it and kept reading.  Just visualize an actor just standing there and saying all that dialouge for a  minutes or two straight.  In a movie that wouldn't be fun to watch. That's how I look at it.  

It's a block of dialogue alright. More revealing is that you skipped it as soon as you saw it lol. Since you were not invested in the characters, understandable.


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You have a knack for writing a solid compelling plot structure. I just found the story and characters average.


OK great, Again, your time in reading and reviewing is appreciated. I've saved the notes for an ongoing revision. Good feedback!


13 feature scripts, 2 short subjects. One sale, 4 options. Nothing filmed. Damn.

Currently rewriting another writer's SciFi script for an indie producer in L.A.
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