Hello, directoboy12. Thank you for reading my script and I'm sorry you didn't quite enjoy it as much as I hoped. I'll go over your comments below.
I chose to include the two flashback scenes because they helped character development more than throwaway lines would have. I don't think I'd be able to relay James's mixed feelings toward Cheryl or his hesitation to get involved with Ellen without these scenes serving to support the narrative.
In fact, I strived to use each scene to further the plot in some way or establish a piece of information which would come into play later. This is why I included such seemingly superfluous moments which come into play later.
The protest scene, for example, is important because it's where James receives the rights card... which is the reason he becomes hesitant to contact the police later... which is what causes Ellen to have to come to the hotel after him.
When it comes to the villains, Maxim especially, I did try to write them a little broad to serve as a counterpoint to James's more serious persona. That being said, I'll have to look the script over and see if I went a little too overboard.
Thanks again for reading my script, directoboy12, and I appreciate your response. |