Blood Moon by Monique Mata - Thriller - While investigating a series of gruesome murders, a lonely coroner falls for an enigmatic stranger who may be connected to the deaths. 91 pages - pdf, format

Hey Monique,

I gotta say this very well written. Your style is intense and sharp -- I like it. I think you need to step up the pace a bit. Pg. 26 until it really gets past intro characters. Try reading more tomorrow. Hope you're around.

Tony.

Hey Tony,

Thanks for checking out the script. Look forward to your feedback.

Pg. 35
I think you  should indicate that a dream sequence has begun for Sadie.
beginning to get the vibe that Sadie is crazy or delusional or both.
Pg. 41
Sad scene at the gravesite with Sadie's lost child.

50 pages in and even though Sadie character is holding my attention,  more shit needs to happen. I bet you can cut out 20% of the dialog and still be on track.

I doubt any 70 year old butlers would resemble a grey hound. They are built for speed.

Ok, I finished and have a few concerns...

Spoilers.

I liked how you played with a potential monster/animal through the story. It worked for the most part. I think the ending kinda left us with a question...  Like wtf was wrong with her?

It also felt like the story ended a bit too abruptly. I woulda liked to see more obsessive chasing of the "monster"  by Sadie or even someone else. I think this is a way to up some action. Take us to some more dark places that are dangerous.

As indicated earlier,  the writing is polished and crisp,  juat overly dialog heavy.

I enjoyed it even though Phych movies arent my thing

Gl with the script

Tomy