Rekindled love by Bernard Antoine Mersier - Thriller, Psychological - Bernard’s past comes seeking revenge for what he did, thinking it was buried in high school, having no idea how it will affect his present. 109 pages  - pdf format

Synopsis; Production info

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Bernard, you on the boards? Happy to give some more detail if you're here.

Just a first impression - the first few pages lack some clarity. Even the first slug line doesn't CLEALRY establish where we are (is "1998' the year, the name of the building etc) that I only figured out from context clues. You don't intro the opening characters clearly even when switching to their POV -- you don't want to confuse readers so early on. Again, you CAN figure out what's going on, but you want people to get it straight away. The first five pages are your first impression and if people are having to re-read sections to see the picture in their head, they may stop reading.

Your logline is more of a tagline - it gives a very vague understanding of the thrust of the plot, but loglines needs specify - who is Bernard, is he a young person, a student, an old man? What is the past that's coming back to haunt him, and how? Et cetera. This thread has some good discussions on Logline structure: https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-logline/m-1662871897/