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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Western Scripts  ›  Out of the Loop Moderators: bert
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George Willson
Posted: January 28th, 2006, 7:59pm Report to Moderator
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I'll admit to being thrown by that, but I figured if it kept coming up, I'd ask about it when the names came out.


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George Willson
Posted: January 28th, 2006, 11:43pm Report to Moderator
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The only one that comes close is The Fempiror Chronicles, and it doesn't fit the mold exactly. It has a lot more fantasy elements, more character development than a Bond film, but still a fair amount of action (more, actually, as the series progresses). Fempiror 1x01: Lost and Found actually follows it pretty well, but there's more to that series than meets the eye. I enjoy watching the Bond films and I've read many of the novels as well. I know I'll have one eventually, but Fempiror is as close as I get. I'll have to read yours at some point.


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CindyLKeller
Posted: July 8th, 2006, 6:35am Report to Moderator
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Hey George,
Script of the day!  

This was a cute little slice of life story for the one week exercise.

I know it's hard to come up with something, and finish it all within one week. That's why I wasn't able to enter a script into this one... Not enough time for me this time around .

Now that it's all done and over with, I was wondering if you planned on doing a rewrite on this one? If so, there are a few websites that have lists of the old western slang that could be of use to you. I think that's what writers missed the most when doing this exercise... the speech. It was quite different back then.

I knew that the surprise would be something for either the owner or his daughter. I'd add a little bit more mystery to it now that you have the time to do so. Maybe have the general store man hear townsfolk whispering that the brothers are back, and heading into town. Maybe they could ride into town with their guns a blazin' and when the cloud of dust behind them settles, the towns people would be revealed ready for a celebration. ???

Anyway, cute story, George. I like happy endings.  

Cindy


Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama
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George Willson
Posted: July 8th, 2006, 4:25pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the read, Cindy.

I've found a certain fondness for slice of life type stories. If you deal with normality, it just feels more real and relatable. I do rather like happy endings as well, much to the dismay of some who've read my stuff.

I like the thought on making it a bit more mysterious, which was really the point when I was writing it, but my original idea blew up into too many characters, so I ended up with this at the end. I might consider revising someday, but I will admit it is very low on my list. The curse of writing so much is that other things need revising more than this one does.


Quoted from CindyLKeller
Anyway, cute story, George. I like happy endings.


Probably 90% of the people do (whether they admit it or not). The other ten percent write and make the films for the rest of their 10% who like to see the bad guy win and then complain when the other 90% don't like it.


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The boy who could fly
Posted: July 8th, 2006, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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This is script number five for me today , my eyes are starting to bulge out of my head

Anyways, this was a nice little short with a good heart.  I liked the western dialog a lot, this kind of reminded me of this western I saw on tv a while ago, I think Tommy lee jones was in it, but it was another "non violent" western and I liked it a lot.

Your descriptions were done well, I was able to picture this in my head.

It also flowed very nicely.

I knew this guy named Tom Johnson who worked in a grocery store, but he was an alcholic and a coke head, a lot different than this guy.

anyways this was a nice read and I'm glad it got bumped up or I may have never gotten a chance to read it.

Good work George


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Peter Breeze
Posted: January 30th, 2011, 10:48pm Report to Moderator
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I liked it as far as it went. I was expecting a different ending. Something more unusual.
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