Hey all,

Know it's busy with OWC going on, but I hooked up with a director who asked me to write a trailer for a pilot he's pitched to some streaming services. If anyone has a chance to take a look that would be great. It's my first time writing a trailer and could use some tips. This is a first draft. Thanks!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/dshgc7wqisj6aro/Bootleggers-Sizzle.pdf?dl=0

I would tell some of the story thru the eyes of the reporter. (Just for the trailer) Then cut between the important scenes to establish story,characters, and place.    Tommy inside his cell , bench pressing his cell mate . Tv inside his cell Special report ... Tommy Highland is getting out. Will the Devils Tea make a comeback?  

Did the ATF Agent kind of drop the ball and only got him put away 5 years instead of life ?  

You seem to be off to a good start . Hope what I said helps.

Also just a thought ... instead it being classic jug shine... how about vaporized shine in quick hit containers ?

Hey thanks for reading. Good advice all around. I definitely like the idea of quick hit vape shine. Never knew that existed before. Good stuff. Thanks!!

Steven, keeping in mind I don't have a clue on how to write a movie trailer....

I thought the writing was real good, Clean and crisp. My only thought is that I am not sure you need the first scene,

Other than that - all good

Thanks, Dave. Yeah, I have no clue either but thought I’d take a crack at it. There was a pilot made, and shown around, but the question they wanted to know was “who do we care for?” With no clear answer, I suggested Cadi, the pregnant ATF agent.

So, we’ll see if anything comes of it. Nice exercise, though.

Quoted from SAC Thanks, Dave. Yeah, I have no clue either but thought I’d take a crack at it. There was a pilot made, and shown around, but the question they wanted to know was “who do we care for?” With no clear answer, I suggested Cadi, the pregnant ATF agent. So, we’ll see if anything comes of it. Nice exercise, though.

Best of luck with it

Quoted from SAC Thanks, Dave. Yeah, I have no clue either but thought I’d take a crack at it. There was a pilot made, and shown around, but the question they wanted to know was “who do we care for?” With no clear answer, I suggested Cadi, the pregnant ATF agent. So, we’ll see if anything comes of it. Nice exercise, though.

Steve ,

What if “who do we care for” is the college kids.  At that college moonshine is the cheap party favor of choice?  Just a little gets the job done.  What about Tommy did 5 years for a bad batch of shine that hurt a bunch of students. One went blind, brain damage etc... Tommy while a bad man believes in a quality product . Maybe someone set him up and tainted a batch? 5 years when he gets out he has lost his turf ?  To get it back in business he invents the vapor shine.  It’s in little C02 cartridges kids pop in a device and inhale.  The “devices” can be his legal side of business to help filter in his moonshine money.   Like those pipes that say Tobacco Use Only you see in head shops.

I hope you don’t mind me going overboard on the ideas . Since a trailer isn’t that long.  Nonetheless if what I said don’t help hopefully it will trigger something you come up with that you can use.

Quoted from Kevin_L Steve , What if “who do we care for” is the college kids.  At that college moonshine is the cheap party favor of choice?  Just a little gets the job done.  What about Tommy did 5 years for a bad batch of shine that hurt a bunch of students. One went blind, brain damage etc... Tommy while a bad man believes in a quality product . Maybe someone set him up and tainted a batch? 5 years when he gets out he has lost his turf ?  To get it back in business he invents the vapor shine.  It’s in little C02 cartridges kids pop in a device and inhale.  The “devices” can be his legal side of business to help filter in his moonshine money.   Like those pipes that say Tobacco Use Only you see in head shops. I hope you don’t mind me going overboard on the ideas . Since a trailer isn’t that long.  Nonetheless if what I said don’t help hopefully it will trigger something you come up with that you can use.

Wow, you're full of good ideas huh? That's quality stuff I think. Thanks. The guy does want me to write the pilot, or rewrite it, eventually. I like the modern twist on bootlegging as I think the old days of bootlegging are pretty much dead so I need a modern twist for sure.

That said there does need to be a character that stands out that we care for. I kinda flip-flopping between Cadi or Tommy, and I kinda like tommy a little more as that person even though he's a ruthless badass he's got a heart.