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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    My Work In Progress  ›  The Surge - Teaser Moderators: bert
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SAC
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 9:06am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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This is a script I wrote last Summer and am finally rewriting. Here's the first 8 pages if anyone wants a look. It's about an aging journalist who gets involved in a May/December relationship and a farm stand that may hold the key to the Fountain of Youth. It's called, tentatively, The Surge.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/mphlv8b81m7yd03/The%20Surge_Teaser.pdf?dl=0


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Grandma Bear
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 12:41pm Report to Moderator
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Read these eight pages. If it wasn´t for the logline, I would have no idea what this was about. IMO, the beginning part doesn´t help. That part with the senator gives a complete different vibe than the part that follows. The first part seems like the beginning of a thriller or horror or something else dark in nature while the second part seems like a drama.

My take. Ignore if it wasn´t helpful.  


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Night_Writer
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 7:53pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, I’m intrigued.  

Is Senator John Haskins and John Herlihy the same person... only “de-aged” somehow?  Hmmm.

I, too, was a little thrown about the genre; the longline made it seem like a drama, but the opening feels like the seeds of a twisted thriller are being planted.

In any event, I’m certainly interested in more...


Drama Feature Screenplay:  The Rising
https://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/therising.pdf
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SAC
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 5:35am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Pia and Michael,

Thanks for reading. The opening scene - yes. Not that I was thinking Coen brothers when I wrote it, but it does figure loosely into the whole story as we go along. Larry’s a journalist and the opening is one of his past stories that never saw the light of day for a specific reason and it’ll figure in more to the end, though it has nothing to do with the actual story, which is about Larry and Ellen.

The theme is about self worth and acceptance as you age, I guess.  And learning to let go of things, as in your daughter getting married to a man you don’t like, learning to let go of a story that might have won you a Pulitzer (the Senator scandal). Should have posted the first 15 pages, but the build up is a slow burn.

And anyway, I was hoping that the Senator opening was a decent grabber. It’s part of the actual twist near the end so it will factor in once the main story is said and done.

Thanks again!


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