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Jigsaw Accidentally Chooses McGuyver by Derrick James Jackson - Action - This is the end result of a night after watching the somewhat disappointing Saw II. We were talking in my truck on the way to Taco Bell when we realized how funny it could be if McGuyver was chosen by Jigsaw by accident. This is what we came up. - pdf, format
That was....huh. I'm not sure what to think of that. It was a short, which I'm quite sure should be in the short(s) section, and because of it's length, I felt it was rushed. It suspended my belief, as McGuyver is supposed to do, but still - what're the chances of Jigsaw choosing McGuyer?
The whole thing was quite unbelievable. I felt it was supposed to be funny (Jigsaw Chooses McGuyver) when the jokes really - didn't exist. It was too serious for it's own good. Writing, format, all that good stuff was fine - but, this had the potential of being really funny, if only it took itself a bit more lax. But hey, maybe I'm wrong.
Hm... I thought the premise was amusing, and I read it even though you misspelled McGyver. The way it started doesn't ever tell how McGyver ended up there to start with. He is was too expositional with everything he says. When the batteries died, I had a better solution: use the batteries from the other player. I will have to say it was clever in its execution of getting out, and I also thought the ending of Jigsaw's mis-diagnosis rather amusing. If you actualy were to start with McGyer waking up with the rest of them and how he works things out from the begnning, including killing the girlfriend, it would make him a little more human and possibly make it more interesting overall. In fact, since there's plenty of time, it might be nice to have him make a mistake at some point.
Sorry for the confusion guys. This is a comedy . I probably selected the wrong drop-down menu or something.
My pal and I sat up all night coming up with most of it. We just came up with the most insane, stupidest ideas and wrote them down. I now see that I did actually misspell McGyver...bah. Oh, and there was only a cassette in the woman's jacket not a player.
If it looks unbelievable, that's because it is. It was just supposed to be a short comedy . We were stabbing at an idea. The idea of Jigsaw Versus McGyver. A maniac testing people's survival skills versus the man who DEFINES survivor skills. It seemed perfect to us; plus the ending. I mean...c'mon...Cataracts. Because of this he misreads his diagnosis AND prognosis. That has GOT to tickle somebody. I guess it's a bit dark.
I agree with you George that there should be at least SOME description of their capture. Maybe recollections of each person and flashbacks. I wanted to stay true to the "SAW" series style and, looking back, it makes perfect sense. The mistake was supposed to be where he began verbally abusing himself for overlooking the trap door in the floor. There were situations in the short that I was intending to be funny. Maybe I didn't nail down the inflection or describe situations or scene good enough. The ending was, for us writing it, the funniest part we felt though.