All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
I just didn't think that this was very good. The dialogue was too cryptic and didn't make much sense, there were many spelling and grammar mistakes, you should cut using all the exclamation points in your actions, you're actions weren't written that well to begin with, and your story was confusing. What did his bloody hands, or the woman he was supposed to have killed, or remembering have to do with anything???? And it had very little signiicance on the end.
"Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd" - George Carlin "I have to sign before you shoot me?" - Navin Johnson "It'll take time to restore chaos" - George W. Bush "Harry, I love you!" - Ben Affleck "What are you looking at, sugar t*ts?" - The man without a face "Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death." - Exodus 31:15 "No one ever expects The Spanish Inquisition!" - The Spanish Inquisition "Matt Damon" - Matt Damon
Talk about cryptic! Yeah. Definitely cryptic and confusing but I don't think that's such a bad idea. The grammar mistakes are plenty but easily correctable.
"A dream of you in a world without you."
I need to think about this one for a bit. Does this mean that he is dead? That someone is dreaming of him and with time, they remember less and less so his world is dissapearing? I don't know. I like the idea though. Completely existential in nature yet there is a need for more information. Maybe a few more markers to guide us through what you really mean to say.
A world with out him. This script kept my attention untill the end. The brief flashs of the dreams was a nice touch, I was waiting for him to come back to reality. but He never did. Strange very strange. The ending was weird with no sound. But I could visualize it as if I was there.
The feeling of being alone with no one around to know you even exsist. Many people feel that way today, but you put in a form that I hope people can see.