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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Why is everyone always shooting at me? Moderators: bert
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  Author    Why is everyone always shooting at me?  (currently 2292 views)
Don
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 6:12pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Why is everyone always shooting at me? by Kassius Play - Short - He has a dilema but it is part of his nature. 2 pages - pdf, format


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Kevan
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 6:56pm Report to Moderator
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I read this and straight away I thought of you Helio..

Now I'm not absolutly sure but I'd lay a bet you wrote this script..

This script is full of all your hallmarks and on a single page at that..

You even managed to use the line required by the competition twice, in the title and by one of the characters, very funny..

I gotta admit it, I laughed..

Way funny for a single page..


Kev
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Antemasque
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:00pm Report to Moderator
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the ocean floor is hidden from your viewing lens

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I'm sorry... but i didnt get it. To whoever wrote this i am sorry. It needed to be longer.

2/5
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greg
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:06pm Report to Moderator
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Oh Hi

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Eh.  I liked the pun at the end, but 1 page?  I don't really know if there's any point in giving a 1 page script a title page.


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James McClung
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:14pm Report to Moderator
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This went completely over my head. It felt more like a joke than a script but the punchline didn't seem to match the setup.


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Breanne Mattson
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:15pm Report to Moderator
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At first, this made no sense whatsoever….but then I figured it out --- it’s like a bad pun - like “call the police, my steak is being a-salted or something.” - har har.


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Helio
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 10:42pm Report to Moderator
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Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

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I don't know but...I'm not sure...well, never mind!
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Martin
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 6:39am Report to Moderator
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This is probably the shortest script I've ever read. I'm pretty sure it's Helio too. Not bad, but you could've stretched it out a little to maybe, I dunno, 3 pages? I quite like the concept and I think there's potential for more gags other than the pun at the end.
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Mr.Z
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 7:28am Report to Moderator
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Hey Helio err... I mean Kassius  

You came up with a good premise for this exercise but, as other posters already said, this have to be stretched a bit for it to fully work.


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bert
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 7:52am Report to Moderator
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This one reads like the author composed it while sitting on the toilet.

And, in fact, there is an author around here who has admitted to writing while he does this.

So I think I know who this author might be through simple elimination...elimination?...get it?...ahahaha!

I suppose this might be one of the better one-page scripts I've seen, but yeah, this idea hasn't been flushed out as well as it might have been.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Kotton
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 8:54am Report to Moderator
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I'm still SCREAMING!

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I think this little script is great.I can really relate to the bull's eye guy!


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thegardenstate89
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 9:10am Report to Moderator
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I got the joke. I'm assuming whoever wrote this was in a bit of a crunch for time.
I felt more like I was reading a commercial, except nothings really being advertised....
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Higgonaitor
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 11:38am Report to Moderator
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Yeah, I'm with Andrew and James.  I didn't get it, it went completely over my head.


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The boy who could fly
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 1:21pm Report to Moderator
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i didn't get it, I got a chuckle but that was about it, I just didn't understand it, maybe it's just me.


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CindyLKeller
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 10:14pm Report to Moderator
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Um... I would have like to see this one longer, too. Maybe added scenes with bullets or arrows flying through the air, hitting trees. I'm not sure though because it was so short.


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