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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Trauma Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: July 31st, 2006, 9:55pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Trauma by Bertalan Nagy - Short, Thriller, Suspense - A reporter investigates the past of the infamous death dealer Arthur Goodwyn and his hired arms known as the Knights. They were thought to be responsible for the recent Mafioso Kidnappings, now famously known as “The Missing 5”. However as he digs deeper into the past and its suspects he soon finds out that this could still be an open case with himself as the last piece of the puzzle.  33 pages - rtf, format


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Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  August 1st, 2006, 8:02am
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Bertalan
Posted: August 1st, 2006, 1:18pm Report to Moderator
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Hey guys this is Bertalan, the author. This is my first script posted on Simplyscripts.com so I am really interested in feedback. Love the site and its un-produced section so I eventually decided this would be a great place to get some honest reviews from actual writers. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the story.
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Mr.Z
Posted: August 1st, 2006, 1:30pm Report to Moderator
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Welcome to the site, Bertalan. While you await for those reviews to come, I suggest you to take a look at other scripts posted in the unproduced section. If you leave reviews to authors that actively participate in these forums, they will likely return the favor.


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surferchicky92
Posted: August 1st, 2006, 7:17pm Report to Moderator
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hi Bertalan,

I'm Alanah, welcome to simplyscripts.com. This is quite good for a first script. I especially like the tape recorder scene, and the part in the beginning when the inmate is telling the story and we see it, a la Usual Suspects. Good job, keep on working on it,

Alanah~
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Bertalan
Posted: August 2nd, 2006, 1:45am Report to Moderator
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Hey Alanah, Thank you for your response. Its great to hear others outside my circle of writer friends give opinions.

Greatly appreciated
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