Walken on Sunshine by Mike Shelton - Short, Comedy - Two filmmakers set out to make a fast, cheap film, in order to pay their tab at Big Bob's Fireworks and Smoked Meats.  Their idea?  A trip to the local mental hospital, and a documentary on a patient who believes he's Christopher Walken. 30 pages - pdf, format

Hey Mike.  I don't have much time, but I wanted to read it so I just buzzed through it fast without taking any notes.  It is really very good.  This is some of the best dialogue I've read from you, and those that know will know that is saying something.

There was one part with one of the guys doing a handpuppet thing that I did not understand, and another part during the checkers game where I think you got some names mixed up so it seems that Chris is playing checkers with himself.  But again, I was reading fast, so it could be me.

I will probably have more for you sometime later.

But this is recommended reading, big time.  Funny, funny stuff here.  And everybody loves Walken.

That was a good read. The walken dialogue, very good. Christopher Walken impersonations have to be my favorite impersonations. In Australia there this okayish Skit show called 'The Wedge'. They did this skit called 'Cooking with Christopher Walken' and I think it is the best christopher walken impersonation i have ever seen.

Bert,

Thanks for the feedback so far, and for the insight you provided in the earlier stages.  I can see how the hand puppet thing is a little confusing.  It's basically supposed to be a mocking thing, and he moves his hand around as if he were wearing a sockpuppet on it, but he's not.

I checked out the checkers thing, and I think I found the source of your confusion.  Chris is playing with someone else (George), but he doesn't talk.  He just kinda sits there with his lip quivering.

Thanks a lot for the recommendation too, and for the comment on the dialogue as well, even if a handful of the lines can't really be attributed to me.  That means a lot.

Ape,

Thanks for checking it out.  Didn't realize that you had written "Footloose" until I saw your response earlier.  I see a lot of people do Walken impersonations, and I just thought it'd be good idea to take it a step further in this regard.

Thanks again to both of you for your comments.

Ok, I took a few more minutes to finish this up over lunch.  It’s still gonna be rapid-fire though.

With Spoilers:

I caught (and love) the blink-and-you-miss-it homage to “The Cabin”.  Jerome either comes around to the idea too fast or he needs to show more enthusiasm -- one or the other.  Love the name Haywire.  There only reason there was not a character on Hee- Haw named Haywire is because nobody thought of it.  The sockpuppet still seems silly, even the second time around.  But the checkers game is fine.  What is Dr. Bobbo wearing?  A suit or medical scrubs or what?  I might lose the references to actual movies -- Wedding Crashers and Envy -- as part of the charm here is recognizing the references without them being force-fed to us.  But maybe they are OK, too.  Ask somebody else what they think about those specifically and see if they agree.  The trip to Big Bob’s seems expendable.  The big joke there isn’t as fresh as the rest of this.  I am pretty sure it is “Hoo-Ah”, not “Hoo-Rah”.  Check on that.  And at the very end, they shouldn’t “shuffle off”.  They should run.

And there you have the remainder of my comments.  Again, like this one a lot.  Gotta’ run.    

Good job, Mike.

I'm afraid it wasnt' a feature script. Why, were you lazy? More 60 pages and done, man! The ass shining in the moonlight was a sharp joke. I don't know, but I laugh a lot with nuts stories. Okay, I know it is polictly uncorrect, but to do what?

Hey guys thanks for looking, again where applicable.

Bert, you're right on Hoo-ah, I don't know why I missed that.  I tried to keep the actual movie references to a minimum, but I thought the ones I used ended up working with the flow and explaining how Chris got there, and also gave him a reason to kick them out.

The Cabin reference is the second one of I've used.  I'm hoping the first one gets filmed.

Bobbo was supposed to be wearing a suit, I guess I forgot that part.  Big Bob's yeah, I could definitely shorten it to the point where Bob confirms the paranoia about the crack team of lawyers.  The last bit is all working toward the gag that isn't necessary.

Helio,

When I got to the end of this, I knew I could justifiably turn it into a feature, where the spend they rest of the movie filming more.  But then I thought that Chris may get a little old after awhile, and I'd have to reintroduce another conflict.  It could probably be done, but right now I'm not sure.

Anyway, thanks again guys.

For me it continue to be a nice premise: Two "moviemakers" trying to get money filming a nuts that believes to be Christopher Walken.

Maybe I've to agree that it has to find another conflict, but maybe Jerome and his partner find a way to kidnapping Chris in order he plays the real Chris' role, cause Chris realy looks like the famous atcor. D'you know what I mean?

It could be great mainly if this your premise should fall in the hands of the real Mr. Walken in order he play that nuts role!

Hey Mike,

I swung by  here while I was at work and caught a glimpse at the title of this one. That alone made me chuckle.

As usual, the dialogue is top notch. I felt it took a while to get going. You could maybe tweak some of the dialogue in the opening scene and work in a little more comedy, or trim it down and move things along a little quicker.

Once it got going, this script was pretty damn funny. My absolute favourite part was Dr. Bobbo. Hilarious. I think that scenario may have been done somewhere before but you pulled it off nicely. His frontal lobe obsession cracked me up.

I think the ending could use a bit of work. It felt kind of rushed, but then there's an epilogue that felt out of place. Once the debt is settled, it feels like you need to wrap things up pretty quickly, since that's your central conflict resolved. Maybe you could tie Walken's escape into the visit to Big Bob's and tie up everything in one big set-piece. I dunno, just thinking aloud. I was expecting fireworks

Anyway, great job with Walken. I liked the references, especially cowbell.

Nice work.

Martin,

Thanks for the feedback.  You make some great points.  In regards to the ending, I originally planned to end it at Big Bob's, but then I started to anticipate possible comments and questions about Chris and Haywire just disappearing and what not, so I took it that little bit further.  You're suggestion would definitely make it tighter.

The Walken quotes were a lot of fun.  A lot were from memory, and some were from research, but the really fun part of it all was figuring out how to use them, and when.  My favorite is the one from Annie Hall.  Hopefully you know which one, or I may have a good trivia question on my hands.

Thanks again for the read.

Hey guys, I decided to come back here, because I remembered the dialogue between the two moviemakers, Jerome and Alex:
JEROME
Fine. Now we need to come up with
something that we can do fast and
cheap.
ALEX
How bout that zombie movie?
3.
JEROME
I said cheap.
ALEX
What? You buy a couple cases of
corn syrup, some red dye, and hire
a dozen people to walk around
really slowly and moan. Then you
hire a girl, put her in a house and
have her scream a lot while the
zombies bang on the windows.
JEROME
That?s the dumbest idea I?ve ever
heard.
ALEX
I just described half the zombie
movies ever made.
JEROME
What else you got?
ALEX
Anyone submit a script lately?
JEROME
Just one, but we?re not using it.
ALEX
What?s it about?
JEROME
Honestly, couldn?t tell you. I
stopped reading when I saw
something about an ass shining in
the moonlight.
ALEX
Ok that?s out.
They think it over for a moment. Alex leans forward in his
chair.
ALEX
Ok, how bout this? You got this
guy right, and he?s a barfly, no
purpose in life at all...
JEROME
I?m listening.
4.
ALEX
...And one day after a bender, he
leaves the bar and he?s sucked up
into a spaceship and taken to
another dimension.
JEROME
Why are you throwing out sci-fi
ideas? I told you cheap.
ALEX
This coming from the guy who
dropped two grand on an alien
movie.
JEROME
Hey, I didn?t buy that stuff. You
might as well tell me that you want
to cast Christopher Walken too.

It is a good example that many writers here have to follow.

Most of us want to see our piece filmed, doesn?t matter by whom, but filmed. Most of us forget a simple thing that to be considered very much: BUDGET.

So, please when you are putting down any idea, remember that just ?wannabes? will be interested on to shot your script and won?t have any money involved and if so just enough to do the basic that?s all:

- 2 locations maximum (no big cities dowontown/ NY, LA, Bagdat - Shops - hospitals - army headquarter - Nasa  etc
- No more than 5 characters
- No tech on it
- no animals either its trainers
-etc

Remember that, folks! BTW, I'm forgetting: if you write your idea just for fun and to improve you writing, so let your imagination fly around the sky!

I found this script to be something of a let-down, Mike.  I read the premise a couple of days ago and was only able to get to it now.  I was expecting a lot more.  I was expecting an interview of a guy who thought he was Christopher Walken.  Instead, I read a story about a couple of bumbling film makers who briefly talk to a guy who quotes Christopher Walken.

Research Walken!  And I'm not referring to his movies, but to who he is.  Find interviews with him and go from there.  And don't make it so friggin' goofy.  Leave out Bobbo and Haywire; they do not for the story.


Phil

I guess it shows how subjective comedy is. Bobbo and Haywire were the funniest characters IMO.

And wouldn't a crazy guy who thinks he is Walken base his personality on his movie persona rather than his real life. Makes sense to me.

And Mike, it's been years since I saw Annie Hall. I think I missed the reference  

Quoted from Martin And wouldn't a crazy guy who thinks he is Walken base his personality on his movie persona rather than his real life. Makes sense to me.

I would think he would form a personality on Walken's real life, even if it's not accurate.  If Chris thinks he Walken, and knows that Walken is an actor, why would he develop a personna based on characters that he played.

If I thought I was Schwarzenegger, I'd be talking about how to help California.  I wouldn't be running around, saying, "I'll be back!"

Good reference to The Cabin!


Phil

Phil,

You make a valid point.  I think it would probably take away a little bit in terms of the comedic value of the script, but it's valid.  There is a slight reference to his rumored presidential run, and his quick mood change when told how bad Envy was, that could possibly pass as real life, but you're absolutely correct that this was more "movie based".

The Cabin thing came rather easily.  Given the context of their discussion it just felt right to use it.

Thanks a lot for the read.  It's defintely been awhile since I've gotten a comment form you, and it's much appreciated.

EDIT:  There was one interview that I had read where Walken expressed his desire to play a regular guy.  Wife, kids, dogs, family.  The whole bit, maybe a little singing and dancing.  I just couuldn't find a place to use it.

Martin,

The Annie Hall reference is near the end of the script.  "Driving into oncoming traffic".