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The Cab's Tale (currently 6202 views) |
Don |
Posted: October 20th, 2006, 5:42pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16417 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
The Cab's Tale - She screwed him up by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - On this Cab’s Tale, an Indian cab's driver will know the real meaning of the famous All Saints’ Day more knowing as Halloween! 9 pages - pdf, format The Cab's Tale - The God Feather by Michel J. Duthin - Short - On this Cab's Tale, Noralee, a moody black cab driver, spends her Christmas night in the streets. Will Santa forget her this time? 9 pages - pdf, format The Cab's Tale - Speak slowly, please! by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - To get the wrong end of the stick and jump to conclusions too easily could provoke an irretrievable mess in nowadays. 9 pages - pdf, format The Cab's Tale - Extreme Baggage by Zingo - Short - A horny cab driver hits on a female passanger with some serious baggage. 15 pages - pdf, format The Cab's Tale - Too Much Tail by Spencer McDonald - Short - A Las Vegas cabbie gets burned by two large women from a weight watchers convention. Come along on a ride and see if that is all that gets burned. 9 pages - doc, format Cab's Tale, The - The Heart in the Right Place by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - Doesn’t matter what the others think about us the most important is to have our heart in the right place. 8 pages - pdf, format |
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Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown) |
Don - February 18th, 2007, 1:44pm | | |
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darthbrion |
Posted: October 20th, 2006, 8:15pm |
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New I'm seriously troubled.....
LocationTulsa, Oklahoma Posts132 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
Helio you pervert. * SPOILERS * * This was a great short! It reminded me of those old great stories from the EC Comics. * Loved the various names the woman called him. Sabu, Gandhi, etc. * I also found the various religious pics next to a naked woman smart. I've seen the very same things in cabs before. Good short, good tale for Halloween and hey...It even had Ghostly Necrophilia in it! Who can argue against that? |
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Reply: 1 - 51 |
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Alex J. Cooper |
Posted: October 20th, 2006, 10:54pm |
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New
LocationAustralia Posts316 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
Well... Very descriptive. Certainly a tale fitting for halloween. Is having sex with a ghost necrophilia? |
| Shorts: I Named Him Thor Footloose, Cut Loose Tainted Milk Marshmallows Confucius & The Quest For Nessie Wondrous Presentation |
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Reply: 2 - 51 |
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Helio |
Posted: October 21st, 2006, 3:47pm |
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Old Timer Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
Posts1284 Posts Per Day 0.19 |
I'll take advantage that evrybody is buzy with challenge scripts to say thank to you guys for the reading!
By the way, having sex withb a ghost is the same to have sex with a wall! |
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Reply: 3 - 51 |
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spencerforhire |
Posted: October 22nd, 2006, 6:42pm |
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New Write NOW! Perfect LATER!
LocationSnohomish, WA Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
Hey Helio
Absolutely fabulous my man. You stories are getting better and better. Looking forward to Cab's Tales #2. And by the way, my computer is back in action. Now I gotta go out and find a lot of my work. Shit Shit Shit!
Spencer "For Hire" McDonald |
| I got nothing. |
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Reply: 4 - 51 |
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Helio |
Posted: October 23rd, 2006, 7:18am |
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Old Timer Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
Posts1284 Posts Per Day 0.19 |
Hi Spencer, nice to hear you, dude. Welcome back! Thanks for the reading.
Ape, I have to explain you that necrophilia is when someone have sex with corpses. As I said having a sex with a ghost is crazy dreams or fantastic telling from cab's drivers or fishmen! |
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Reply: 5 - 51 |
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Jayce |
Posted: October 24th, 2006, 3:18am |
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Interesting read. FYI All Saint's Day is the Day after Halloween. Your intro implied they were the same. |
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Reply: 6 - 51 |
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Helio |
Posted: October 26th, 2006, 9:23pm |
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Old Timer Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
Posts1284 Posts Per Day 0.19 |
Oh, Jayce I thought they happen in the same day. I'm sorry about it, okay. As soon as I can I'll fix it in order do not spreed out a wrong information. Tell me what you have done in order I take a look at it.
Anyway, thanks for your reading! |
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Reply: 7 - 51 |
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michel |
Posted: November 2nd, 2006, 6:13am |
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Old Timer
LocationFrance Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Meu amigo, I couldn't help read this one. Great story. Your style is improving day after day. Anyway, I think you could have a better ending. ***************SPOILERS******************** After having lost any trace of the woman, the husband could an address to Gandhi... no. Gunga Din... no. Shyamalan, Sabu... no. Anyway, to Abhaya, driving him to a cemetery. Maybe the final thrilling explanation would be greater. IMHO. I can't wait to read other tales. Michel |
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Reply: 8 - 51 |
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Helio |
Posted: November 2nd, 2006, 8:37am |
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Old Timer Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
Posts1284 Posts Per Day 0.19 |
Salut mon ami! Merci for your idea of the cemetery it seems more plausible.
Thanks anyway. More Cab's Tales will be posted soon before you blink, dude! |
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Reply: 9 - 51 |
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rjw8625 |
Posted: November 6th, 2006, 5:36pm |
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New Been Gone A While, Still Plugging Away
LocationRochester, NY Posts35 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Helio,
Very interesting! Very creepy halloween theme. Are there other Cab's Tales posted? Is this one of a series that involve the same character Abhaya?
Something you might think about is being more discrete and suggestive than overt with the sexual scenes. This can help build a greater tension for the cab driver.
About my challenge entry, I owe you an apology en Espanol.
Lo siento mucho. mgj y Mr. Z hablaron acerca de antecedentes o pasado. Mi disculpa para olvidando tu comentarios. Gracias por escribiendo.
-Roberto |
| My scripts
Can Grab - (Short)
In Development
Logan St. - Feature length Drama examining the collegiate life.
Fortnight - Short drama chronicling two weeks in the personal and professional life of a young woman.
Film Projects
Carving Dragon Productions |
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Reply: 10 - 51 |
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superdrew828 |
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 12:21am |
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Posts36 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Warning: Harsh words may follow... I do not intend to hurt your feelings.
I thought it was horrible. I couldn't follow what was going on. Maybe that was my own problem; being unfair to the topic.
I did like the different names the "ghost lady" called him.
The switch to her being a ghost and the husband being a ghost was unclear. I also thought that the ending could have been a bit stringer. There's no closure.
You did use good visual cues and painted a nice picture with your words, even though the picture was a little bit over the top for my liking. |
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Reply: 11 - 51 |
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Helio |
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 7:12am |
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Old Timer Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
Posts1284 Posts Per Day 0.19 |
Thanks Roberto. The apology wasn't necessary, dude, but in Spanol I accepet! Haha! There is more Cab's Tales, Roberto, I'm posting it before this weekend, depend of Don's time.
SuperDrew, thank you for the reading and I'm sorry whether I hurted you with this, dude. I won't ask you to take a look at my other scripts, because they have the same flavour...
Thanks a lot anyway! |
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Reply: 12 - 51 |
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superdrew828 |
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 10:22am |
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Posts36 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
You didnt hurt me. I was just a little confused about what was happening. I just couldnt see a clear picture or a story line going on.
I'll read it again. Maybe I was too distracted the first time through. |
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Reply: 13 - 51 |
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superdrew828 |
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 10:37am |
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Posts36 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Ok, I just read it again. This time through wasn't so bad. I really like when she calls him a "brownie." That was funny.
The blow job scene is your strongest part of the script. And I could totally see a whacky montage to the sitar music.
There are a few spelling errors and things of that nature. But I couldn't tell if some were on purpose or accidental.
You are very descriptive. A lot of very strong visual cues, except in the coffee bar. I thought the description in that scene was really vague. Try and beef it up some more. |
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Reply: 14 - 51 |
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