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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  The Cab's Tale Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Cab's Tale  (currently 6202 views)
Don
Posted: October 20th, 2006, 5:42pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Cab's Tale - She screwed him up by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - On this Cab’s Tale, an Indian cab's driver will know the real meaning of the famous All Saints’ Day more knowing as Halloween! 9 pages - pdf, format

The Cab's Tale - The God Feather by Michel J. Duthin - Short - On this Cab's Tale, Noralee, a moody black cab driver, spends her Christmas night in the streets.  Will Santa forget her this time? 9 pages - pdf, format

The Cab's Tale - Speak slowly, please! by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - To get the wrong end of the stick and jump to conclusions too easily could provoke an irretrievable mess in nowadays. 9 pages - pdf, format

The Cab's Tale - Extreme Baggage by Zingo - Short - A horny cab driver hits on a female passanger with some serious baggage. 15 pages - pdf, format

The Cab's Tale - Too Much Tail by Spencer McDonald - Short - A Las Vegas cabbie gets burned by two large women from a weight watchers convention. Come along on a ride and see if that is all that gets burned. 9 pages - doc, format

Cab's Tale, The - The Heart in the Right Place by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - Doesn’t matter what the others think about us the most important is to have our heart in the right place. 8 pages - pdf, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  February 18th, 2007, 1:44pm
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darthbrion
Posted: October 20th, 2006, 8:15pm Report to Moderator
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I'm seriously troubled.....

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Helio you pervert.  

* SPOILERS *

* This was a great short!  It reminded me of those old great stories from the EC Comics.  
* Loved the various names the woman called him.  Sabu, Gandhi, etc.
* I also found the various religious pics next to a naked woman smart.  I've seen the very same things in cabs before.

Good short, good tale for Halloween and hey...It even had Ghostly Necrophilia in it!  Who can argue against that?  

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Alex J. Cooper
Posted: October 20th, 2006, 10:54pm Report to Moderator
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Well... Very descriptive. Certainly a tale fitting for halloween. Is having sex with a ghost necrophilia?


Shorts:
I Named Him Thor
Footloose, Cut Loose
Tainted Milk
Marshmallows
Confucius & The Quest For Nessie
Wondrous Presentation
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Helio
Posted: October 21st, 2006, 3:47pm Report to Moderator
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Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

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I'll take advantage that evrybody is buzy with challenge scripts to say thank to you guys for the reading!

By the way, having sex withb a ghost is the same to have sex with a wall!
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spencerforhire
Posted: October 22nd, 2006, 6:42pm Report to Moderator
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Write NOW! Perfect LATER!

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Hey Helio

Absolutely fabulous my man. You stories are getting better and better. Looking forward to Cab's Tales #2. And by the way, my computer is back in action. Now I gotta go out and find a lot of my work. Shit Shit Shit!

Spencer "For Hire" McDonald


I got nothing.  
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Helio
Posted: October 23rd, 2006, 7:18am Report to Moderator
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Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

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Hi Spencer, nice to hear you, dude. Welcome back! Thanks for the reading.

Ape, I have to explain you that necrophilia is when someone have sex with  corpses. As I said having a sex with a ghost is crazy dreams or fantastic telling from cab's drivers or fishmen!
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Jayce
Posted: October 24th, 2006, 3:18am Report to Moderator
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Interesting read. FYI All Saint's Day is the Day after Halloween. Your intro implied they were the same.
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Helio
Posted: October 26th, 2006, 9:23pm Report to Moderator
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Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

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Oh, Jayce I thought they happen in the same day. I'm sorry about it, okay. As soon as I can I'll fix it in order do not spreed out a wrong information. Tell me what you have done in order I take a look at it.

Anyway, thanks for your reading!
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michel
Posted: November 2nd, 2006, 6:13am Report to Moderator
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Meu amigo,

I couldn't help read this one. Great story. Your style is improving day after day.

Anyway, I think you could have a better ending.

***************SPOILERS********************

After having lost any trace of the woman, the husband could an address to Gandhi... no. Gunga Din... no. Shyamalan, Sabu... no. Anyway, to Abhaya, driving him to a cemetery. Maybe the final thrilling explanation would be greater. IMHO.

I can't wait to read other tales.

Michel


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Helio
Posted: November 2nd, 2006, 8:37am Report to Moderator
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Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

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Salut mon ami! Merci for your idea of the cemetery it seems more plausible.

Thanks anyway. More Cab's Tales will be posted soon before you blink, dude!
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rjw8625
Posted: November 6th, 2006, 5:36pm Report to Moderator
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Been Gone A While, Still Plugging Away

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Helio,

Very interesting!  Very creepy halloween theme.
Are there other Cab's Tales posted?  Is this one of a series that involve the same character Abhaya?

Something you might think about is being more discrete and suggestive than overt with the sexual scenes.  This can help build a greater tension for the cab driver.

About my challenge entry, I owe you an apology en Espanol.

Lo siento mucho.  mgj y Mr. Z hablaron acerca de antecedentes o pasado.  Mi disculpa para olvidando tu comentarios.  Gracias por escribiendo.

-Roberto


My scripts

Can Grab - (Short)

In Development

Logan St. - Feature length Drama examining the collegiate life.

Fortnight - Short drama chronicling two weeks in the personal and professional life of a young woman.

Film Projects

Carving Dragon Productions
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superdrew828
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 12:21am Report to Moderator
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Warning: Harsh words may follow... I do not intend to hurt your feelings.

I thought it was horrible. I couldn't follow what was going on. Maybe that was my own problem; being unfair to the topic.

I did like the different names the "ghost lady" called him.

The switch to her being a ghost and the husband being a ghost was unclear. I also thought that the ending could have been a bit stringer. There's no closure.

You did use good visual cues and painted a nice picture with your words, even though the picture was a little bit over the top for my liking.


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Helio
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 7:12am Report to Moderator
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Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

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Thanks Roberto. The apology wasn't necessary, dude, but in Spanol I accepet! Haha! There is more Cab's Tales, Roberto, I'm posting it before this weekend, depend of Don's time.

SuperDrew, thank you for the reading and I'm sorry whether I hurted you with this, dude. I won't ask you to take a look at my other scripts, because they have the same flavour...

Thanks a lot anyway!
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superdrew828
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 10:22am Report to Moderator
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You didnt hurt me. I was just a little confused about what was happening. I just couldnt see a clear picture or a story line going on.

I'll read it again. Maybe I was too distracted the first time through.


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superdrew828
Posted: November 8th, 2006, 10:37am Report to Moderator
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Ok, I just read it again. This time through wasn't so bad. I really like when she calls him a "brownie." That was funny.

The blow job scene is your strongest part of the script. And I could totally see a whacky montage to the sitar music.

There are a few spelling errors and things of that nature. But I couldn't tell if some were on purpose or accidental.

You are very descriptive. A lot of very strong visual cues, except in the coffee bar. I thought the description in that scene was really vague. Try and beef it up some more.


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