Snake Oil by Christian - Short - The Wastelands are a rough place to live. Anything can happen. Life is hard and breaks are even harder to come by. Sometimes fate smiles on a man and he gets lucky. Ponce DeWolf is about to have a lucky night - but that's not necessarily a good thing. *Contains some violence and sexuality/nudity.  17 pages - rtf, format

I was only able to get to page six with this one before I had to stop.  This reads more like a novel than an actual script.  Your descriptions are good, but a little overdone.  Some of them even read like they are meant to be voice overs.  

I know formatting is a real pain in the ass in a word processor, so I'll only point out that your dialogue spacings are a little off.

Other small things I noticed was that in the beginning, you use "bitch" in your action sequences.  I'm not sure if there's a possitive rule on that matter, but in my opinion, swears are only needed in dialogue.

Another small thing is the horse changes gender on page five when Ponce is tying it to the post.

I'm really sorry that I didn't read this straight through, but I am currently just looking for quick reads and this is a little heavy coming off of reading some of Ulysses.

If you ever do change this up a little bit to make it less action heavy (I would look under the formatting page of the website and find the spec script format post), send me a pm and I'll be the first to read the revised version.

In a plot sense (though I know it's not a full evaluation), this appears to be an interesting storyline.  The corpses somewhat corny sense of humor adds a nice touch to the script and from my limited perspective, seems to set a certain tone.

-Pat