The Schizophrenic Diaries by Tony Nunez - Drama - Through the eyes of schizophrenics, the endtimes are approaching.  Paranoia spreads among five schizophrenics who have hallucinations of events that lead up to the apocalypse.  These five schizophrenics each contributes a piece of a puzzle that completes the mystery of the future. - html, format

clearly inspired by twelve monkeys, this script is clearly the product of a very intelligent, creative and liberal mind inspired by good films. this is the reason why your screenplay is very successful... it follows a clear plot throughline, and the premise is golddddd.

with that said, starting a film with 8 minutes of voice over is not the way to go... especially for this sort of film. voice overs to begin films should be ultra concise, and i feel in this -- you could think of images to serve as metaphors or replace the majority of these opening voice overs. if you were a studio executive reading this, you'd be turned off by the voice overs at the top... also, try not to have your characters speak their feelings so much. from a craft perspective, it's evident you're a beginning screenwriter but your plot and story arch are better than 95% of films released today. brush this up a little bit, and try to sell it! this is a low budget studio pic.

me, ill have my screenplay posted soon.