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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  The Life and Times of Jim Kramer Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Life and Times of Jim Kramer  (currently 1923 views)
Posted: August 12th, 2007, 8:47am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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The Life and Times of Jim Kramer by Mike Sapienza - Drama, Comedy - The story of a high school senior, Jim Kramer, who encounters the trials and tribulations of meeting the girl of his dreams. - html, format

Jim Kramer: College Freshman by Mike Sapienza - Comedy - This is a sequel to "The Life and Times of Jim Kramer". The story follows Jim Kramer through his first year of college. Along the way he comes across some interesting new people, while having to deal with making important life choices regarding his girlfriend Abbey. - html, format

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Don  -  December 16th, 2007, 3:36pm
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Posted: August 15th, 2007, 4:18pm Report to Moderator

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Loved the script.

Not your average high school comedy-drama. The different setting (Jesuit, all male high school) gives a look at the different kinds of trials of young romance.

A quick read, and definately worth your time.
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Posted: August 16th, 2007, 4:05pm Report to Moderator

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1) Imported into a screenwriting program, this ran 145 pages!  Romantic comedies (if that's what this is) are not supposed to be two and a half hours long.  Duh.
2)  Nothing like good clear prose:  "His room is somewhat of a mess, but there is an order to this chaos."  Either it's messy or it's not.  Decide.
3)  "As we pan across the room we see..."  and "CLOSEUP ..."  -- NO CAMERA DIRECTIONS or shots or anything to indicate the presence of a camera or an audience.  In a spec script, everything is present tense as if we IN THE STORY, not watching it on a screen.

"It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with.  I found it flat and trite..."  Sunset Boulevard (1950).
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