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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  A Curse of Madness Moderators: bert
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  Author    A Curse of Madness  (currently 2166 views)
Don
Posted: September 3rd, 2007, 3:14pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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A Curse of Madness by Ebony Richard - Thriller - The story begins in the bush of South Africa.  Five young African sisters are washing clothes at the river. They are approached by three tribesmen from a different tribe.  The tribesmen begin to get aggressive when their advances toward the girls are not accepted.  The tribesmen take three of the girls by force, as the other two run home to their father.  The father finds the girls raped, beaten and killed.  The father, angry and hurt, puts a curse on the tribesmen and their village.  The tribesmen quickly begin to turn on one another. A fire is started and consequently their village and all of the people in it die.  Ten years later there is a beautiful victorian style house built on the land where the village once sat.  A newly remarried doctor and his young wife move into the home.  The wifes happiness is cut short when her husband has to call his older ex-wife to help him cure a disease infecting some villagers.  The new wife realizes that all is not well in their beautiful home and the ex-wife is right in the thick of it.  107 pages - doc, format


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bert  -  September 15th, 2007, 7:17pm
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ABennettWriter
Posted: September 14th, 2007, 8:18pm Report to Moderator
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Out of curiousity, I took a peek. Who offered to produce it? Are they paying you for the rewrite? 'Cause it needs a lot of work.

1) Your font. EVERY script is written in courier new, size 12.
2) Format. Page margins should be at 1.5" on the left and 1" on the right. You've got 2" and 1". Fix that. Maybe if that was fixed, everything would fix itself. I dunno. I corrected the font and your script is now 111 pages.
3) Isn't Afrikaans the language of South Africa? I think so.
4) Page numbers are in the middle of the page.

I only skimmed, so I can't give a more thorough review.
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rayerich3
Posted: September 15th, 2007, 8:40am Report to Moderator
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A playwrite and director in South Africa wants to produce it.  I wrote the script in Microsoft word.  I did type in courier new size 12 font.  My page margins are correct
and my page numbers are flushed right. Maybe since they transffered it over and I don't have the same software as simplyscripts, it looks scrambled.  Before I started writing my script I researched screenplay format on the simplyscipts website.    

I'm not sure what language they would be speaking in the first few minutes of the story.  It depends on what part of South Africa they shoot it in.  They speak several different languages, (for example: Hindi, Isizulu, Nama, Tamil, Urdu, Venda, Tswana, Afrikaans). I could go on but I can't think of them all. However, I wrote it so that the remainder of the screenplay would be in english.  She has not discussed a rewrite with me.  If she does I would let my lawyer handle all of that.

Thanks for looking it over.
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