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A Tragedy in Tijuana (currently 796 views)
Don
Posted: September 29th, 2007, 12:19pm
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So, what are you writing?
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A Tragedy in Tijuana by C. M. Albrecht - Short - A free-spirited woman spends a couple of nights in Tijuana where her carefree lifestyle turns abruptly tragic. Based on real events. 22 pages - pdf, format
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jammer
Posted: September 30th, 2007, 6:40pm
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i think to many things too far apart a fine story tighten it up
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relentless1
Posted: September 30th, 2007, 10:22pm
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I might just tighten up story descritptives, page 3,"crowded. wear ear plugs". Dancers gyrate around firemans pole on stage surrounded by hungry men. This sounds like there's a stripping buffet.
Page 9, INT. LIVING ROOM that whole argument scene doesn't make sense.
Nice little story though. The only thing I have issue with is the descriptions. Some are great, then the next sentence is just blah.
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/PrefaceToPain1.pdf
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