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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  One Last Breath Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: October 21st, 2007, 2:54pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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One Last Breath by Jack Allen - Short - One Last Breath is a brief scene with a son dealing with his mother's death, and the emptiness of going through the motions of a conventional funeral for her. 7 pages - pdf, format


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Blakkwolfe
Posted: October 21st, 2007, 6:57pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Jack;

Sad, thoughtfull little short about something we all have to deal with at one time or another. I'm glad that Henry stuck to his convictions and had the funeral at the house, and I'm sure that meant alot to his Mom, too.  

Description blocks were a little wordy for a screenplay, but I don't think it detracted from the value of the story at all.

Won't forget this one.

Joe


Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper
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Jack_Allen
Posted: October 21st, 2007, 8:19pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you for reading my story, and thank you for your insightful feedback.  I hope you will enjoy my next screenplay when I can get it posted.


Jack
Burping Frog Publishing
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