The Big Day by Erin Calhoun - Short, Comedy - William the best man, arrives in town from London for his best friend Danny's wedding. After arriving at Danny's house to pick him up for the wedding, he discovers Danny is very hungover from the bachelor party the night before.  12 pages - pdf, format

I liked that. It was witty, funny and had some good characters.
Even though William would talk a bit upper class because he's from London, try and not make his lines too generic.

I liked the bit at the end where the bride said that she also passed out first, but I don't think it should end like that...

I also think there should be more of a challenge to get to the church.

And we should see flashes of the bride getting ready, but never see her face. We assume that she is fine and she wasn't drunk at all, and the funny bit is that she doesn't have any eyybrows at the end. If that makes sense.

hey, i really enjoyed this.  it was funny and quick moving and kept me interested.  one thing i think you can omit is when you write "Cut to" as that is unnecessary, but again that's just a personal preference.  but the characters were interesting and funny.  i was very afraid that the end was going to be dumb, but it was actually very sweet and felt satisfying.  i think you did a good job with this