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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Cool Clyde Moderators: bert
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  Author    Cool Clyde  (currently 1286 views)
Don
Posted: February 28th, 2009, 7:31pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Cool Clyde - Finished Product by Sam Jensen (sdawgpictures) - Comedy - The most popular kid in his high school, actually, in every high school, leaves on a two month absence. No one knows why. But when he comes back he's popular than ever. In being so, he wins the love of Jenny Farber. Although, Jenny doesn't like Clyde's habits, he smokes, drinks, cheats, and steals. She wants him to change, but Clyde changing would mean he wouldn't be cool anymore. And Clyde not cool is an oxymoron. Clyde IS cool. 115 pages - rtf, format


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GoreGore84
Posted: March 1st, 2009, 11:46am Report to Moderator
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The logline doesn't make much sense. The most popular kid in his high school, actually, in every high school ? I'm guessing you mean, he's the popular kid you see in every high school. Another think if he's cool and then leaves and comes back more popular? The log line should draw the viewer in, not make them want to say "wtf".

Using the characters names isn't needed, and I'm not an expert on log lines, but i know little.


A popular kid who almost has everything. Who's habits keep him from having the one thing he's wanted, the girl of his dreams. After finding out she likes him, but then finds out there's a catch. He needs to change his ways, if he's to have what he's always wanted.

I know that log isn't great, but still you can get the idea , as to what am talking about.
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