The Answer by Will J. Wheeler - Short - An adverage saturday morning turns wry, after a mysterious phonecall saves Sam's life. 14 pages - pdf, format

Thanks for getting this up, mate.

Also, thanks in advance to anyone who feels inclined to offer some creative criticism. Drafted this in a few hours after having the idea floating around in my brain juice for a few days. Ended up be a sort of Eagle Eye/Frequency hybrid. I wanted to have the feeling that this short was a small chunk of a larger picture... like, ten minutes of a 100 minute film.

Anyways, cheers for reading, and enjoy.

Hello.

I thought this script was very similar to The Matrix and Eagle Eye (like you said yourself). With the whole "giving instructions to someone by someone on a phone" thing. But the twist on it was fantastic. I really liked this script.

There were some action lines which were not needed, stuff we couldn't see on screen. It could be cleaned up a bit, but your basic premise, and most of your action lines were great, well done.

Have you thought of a feature length script yet, with this 14 pages being part of it?

Tommyp,

Thanks for reading, it's kinda downheartening when a thread has 60 views and no replies. So, thanks. A lot if the lines as you mentioned could be cut down, I figure I could probably pull it down to 10 or 11 pages without so much purple. I pretty much wrote this thing and chucked it on the web within the hour, so it's a really rough draft, and pretty much the second script I've ever completed.

I kinda like the idea of the short being an excerpt of a bigger picture. I might extend the idea, but I've gotten it out of my system now... time to move on. Plus, I like the idea of the twist bringing forth the mindfuck in the whole loop thing.

Thanks again.

To everyone else: please comment!

Will,

This place runs on a quid pro quo basis. If you want more reads then you have to earn them. Review other people's scripts.

Tommy just reviewed your script so it'd be nice if you reviewed one of his.

Thanks for the insight Being such a newbie on the forum I feel a little conservative about posting my opinions on people's scripts - feeling a little like expertise is judged upon post count. Cynical, much?

I'll get over it. Just gotta jump right in I suppose.