Flight 705 by Jordan Breen - Short, Action, True Story - A true story of heroism on flight a FedEx cargo plane. 14 pages - pdf, format

I saw this story recreated on Discovery channel.  It is an amazing story of survival.  Since I knew the outcome, there wasn't much suspense for me.  But, you did a good job of capturing the action.  The formatting was spot on, and the characters were well-defined.

I could be wrong, but I'm guessing you're British or maybe Canadian.  At one point, the pilot says "The aeroplane."  Americans never use that word.  Always airplane.   And the air traffic control guy would give the plane weight in pounds, not kilos(as far as I know).

One part of the story you didn't get into, which I remember from the Discovery Channel was that Calloway intended to crash the plane into the Fed Ex headquarters in Memphis.  I wonder why you didn't integrate that into the story.  It would have added a lot more tension to an already gripping story.