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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...    Getting to know you, getting to know all about you...  ›  A Simple Discussion - Produced Moderators: Administrator
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  Author    A Simple Discussion - Produced  (currently 2775 views)
sniper
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 4:41am Report to Moderator
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One of my very early scripts "A Simple Discussion About Time Travel" has been produced by a cool cat named Eric Rodgers (who wisely re-titled it "A Simple Discussion").

It's basically a non-story story, but it was fun to write and the film turned out pretty good I think.

[note: the sound's a bit off in the beginning. Eric told me he will probably go back and fix that].

Check it out:



Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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Tommyp
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 5:35am Report to Moderator
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Good stuff! I have to admit I did get confused with all the time travel stuff, but that's just me. Also, I didn't like the end tiles. Overall though, it looked well shot.

Big congrats for getting it produced man!


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grademan
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 9:11am Report to Moderator
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Very cool short re: time complexities! Now, I am gonna have to watch Terminator Salvation ot see if John Connor's dad is around.  

Gary
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 10:39am Report to Moderator
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First off: Big congrats!!!!

I can't speak for others, but here's why this appeals to me:

Minus the poker, and The Terminator aspects I had almost the same discussions back in about 1978.

The fact that I and probably so many others can remember having that discussion creates a common ground and that's what makes it funny, but also interesting.

Another thing: Terminator is classic. My son was just a little boy when my husband played it in a VCR. He talks about that movie now with that same kind of reminiscing mystique that people of my generation talk about The Exorcist. Whenever you incorporate two significant ideas together, you're going to get a winning combination.

In this case, that winning combination is:

A. People remember going to see Terminator and so there's a weird fondness that people get from that. It's the "I remember when... factor".

B. Who doesn't like talking about Time Travel?

The excellence in this was the fact that it didn't look acted or scripted.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Toby_E
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 10:52am Report to Moderator
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Pretty cool short man. I felt the opening credits were a little shaky though... Director should have used a tripod for some of the shots there. The acting was a little over-the-top in certain parts, and I thought the high angle at 2:30 was a little pointless.

Yeah, the acting did let this down in certain parts. It felt a little un-natural., which is weird, as it did feel pretty improvised. It's hard to explain, but to me it felt un-natural.

But apart from that, it was enjoyable man.

And congrats on getting this made

Toby.


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Zack
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 2:21pm Report to Moderator
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Awesome Rob. Congrats. I remember reading this script a long time ago. Good stuff.

~Zack~


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rendevous
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 2:46pm Report to Moderator
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Congratulations. The script was one of the first ones I read on here. It's a fine script so I watched this with high hopes. Some of the acting was good and some of it wasn't. The titles were way off the mark in my humble. Nevertheless on the whole it's pretty darn good.


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GM
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 4:04pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats. It starts off as a godfather feel and then moves on to a Roger and Ebert moment. interesting take.  
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stevie
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 5:10pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Rob, just read the script, I'll watch the vid later. Good job with the writing. I love all that Terminator stuff! A theory put forward to explain it is that in the normal course of events, Sarah would've met some guy and John was born. But the first T coming back changed all that.
That website I mentioned in the PM is mjyoungtimetravel anomalies or something. Pretty interesting stuff, though the guy must've had 'time' to work it all out! Cheers


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ReaperCreeper
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 9:45pm Report to Moderator
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I liked it. It reminded me of Pulp Fiction ("royale with cheese") minus a plot. But iit was a rather good display of talent -- nicely shot, good dialogue, and surprisingly good acting (it usually sucks bad in Short films).

Congrats on the production.

--Julio

  
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steven8
Posted: May 27th, 2009, 11:44pm Report to Moderator
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I liked it, but the sound mixing was off.  I couldn't even hear the dance music he was complaining about until the guy went to change it.  Other than that I liked it a lot.  I thought the acting was pretty good, and the camera work was excellent.  Nice lighting for the mood as well.  Good colors.

Now, after hearing it all, and I've had a LOT of discussion about this subject over the years, I believe Mr. Sniper that YOU, are John Titor!  Mystery solved!

Google it if you don't know who John Titor is.  You'll have no shortage of hits. . . .
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sniper
Posted: May 28th, 2009, 7:26am Report to Moderator
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Hey all,

Thanks for the kind words, I'm glad most of you liked the film. Julio hit the nail center on the head, this script is exactly that...Royale With Cheese. And that's it.

Steven, you outed man. I am John Titor. I am from 2036.

LOL

I had actually never heard of him(?) but it's some interesting stuff. Interesting in a funny and hoax'y kind of way.


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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jayrex
Posted: May 29th, 2009, 3:07pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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That's a good short you have here.  Something to be proud off.

Congrats.


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Death Monkey
Posted: July 17th, 2009, 4:11pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Rob,

I come back from deep space hibernation and you got stuff produced AGAIN?

I have to say I pretty much enjoyed it. I always loved your dialogue in the script, even if the story really goes nowhere, and some of the lines really worked in this one. Others didn't, which i chalk up to the actors. SOme of the acting was really good, while at times very wooden.

So a mixed bag but at no point was I bored, so that's a testament to how well you write substanceless small talk.

Please pen the next Sex and The City movie.

You may sprinkle it liberally with time-travel arguments.


"The Flux capacitor. It's what makes time travel possible."

The Mute (short)
The Pool (short)
Tall Tales (short)
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: July 17th, 2009, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
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Not a bad little film.

It kicks in at the point they start talking about time travel quite nicely. Seemed to me like it needed something more to kick the script in that direction though, maybe something to do with the game of cards they were playing. That would have also helped to give the film layers, because it came across as just something for them to be doing, rather than as part of the fabric of the film.

The set was decent. The lighting moody. After another couple of films I think the director will be able to breathe a bit more life and vocabulary inrto the shots. A bit one paced at the moment but creditable.

Even some nice slow tracking shots round the table would have built a nice atmosphere.

Acting was largely OK. You can tell when people don't believe in what they are saying though IE when they are not really connected emotionally to the words and are just reciting them. When people are "acting" if you like, rather than just being. This is when the fakeness starts to show through. Humans are naturally perfect at picking up falsity in expressions. A fake smile here, an exaggerated lip there. When people are "acting" they represent emotions in ways they think will look right, but the conscious mind can't carry it off naturally.

For me, the biggest problem was the ending. It may be a bit of a traditional view, but a film like this needs a bit more of a payoff at the end. Although it's interesting to watch, you don't get the feeling of being rewarded at the end.

There's also nothing about time travel that seems to come across in the actual film. It's just the words. Seems like there is a layer missing, but that might be just me missing it.

For instance you could have built up the game of poker so that it is getting more and more high stakes while the talk is going on. The wise guy is talking about going back and forward in time and then mentions about how he'd be able to see what cards he would have and the cards of his opponent. This way you could build tension nicley and the words would have impact on the game of cards.

Then at the end you have the pay off either way. Either he wins (is he a time traveller or just talkative?) or he loses and you get the comedic payoff.

I think shorts, more than anything, need to live on in people's minds after the screening. They have to be memorable. You want people to either have something to think about or leave them feeling extremely satisfied. Otherwise they just disappear into the pack.

There is also a factual discrepancy. A player raises ten at the end, then they all show their cards. The other players would have had to call or fold. Sorry to be pedantic.

Just my thoughts anyway.
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