SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 28th, 2024, 4:41am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Duplex Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 12 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Duplex  (currently 742 views)
Don
Posted: August 12th, 2009, 9:10pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16381
Posts Per Day
1.94
Duplex by Brandon Schinzel - Short, Drama - For some, road rage can be considered a brief moment of uncontrolled insanity. A ride home will change a couples life forever. 21 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
jackx
Posted: August 22nd, 2009, 8:40am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Tucson, AZ
Posts
245
Posts Per Day
0.05
Wierd short.
He waits behind a car in front of him watching undetected from a distance:  kinda awkward sentence, I’m sure there’s a better way to say this.
P7 why don’t you want kids.  Should have question mark.  Right after I don’t feel good about brining another person into this world.  Should be bringing.
P9 cheve is generally spelled chevy I believe.
Idoling would be different than idling, which is what u mean.

I think I'm missing the point of this.  It ends with the other truck just idling out front?  The story is just them bitching at eachother?  How does this change their lives forever?
Might make more sense if the driver ends up being their neighbor in the duplex or something.
This kinda reads like a real episode from someones life, in the way stuff happens, but it doesnt really add up to anything more.  What were you going for?


Mine:
HARD CASE
            (65 Pages) Stealing the case is just the beginning...

APU
            (80 pages) A city where superheroes are murderers and villains walk through walls...
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006