Soundtrack by Ed Kowalski - Comedy - A movie fanatic straps on a portable stereo to make his own soundtrack to life, and fills in for his favorite action hero, after a bump to the head triggers him to believe he's the action hero. 85 pages - pdf, format

Started reading SOUNDTRACK, but it just didn't grab me in the first several pages.  I get the point that Harry is a movie nut and everything is about movies, but I think you have to be very clever when you write something like this, because right now I'm bored reading it. The dialogue didn't work for me either...too forced, not real and I didn't laugh. The title on everypage was interesting, and then the footnote on page 9...a footnote?

well i got through it, which says a lot. had a few chuckles in it, biggest one coming with the pork chops and apple sauce, that's swell. also like that chad walked in slo mo into the office every morning. have to say, though, i didn't really like harry/chad at all and that made it tough to read.

also, as cloroxmartini mentioned, the name and title at the top of every page is...interesting. as are the foot notes. and all the camera angles. and the fact that the dialogue is justified rather than being flush left.

you did a good job of catching the typos, though i did notice quite a few question marks where periods should be. and an occasional lack of hitting the return key. other than that, though, fairly clean.

don't regret reading it or anything but i do wish i liked the main character more.

good luck with it.

Thanks for your feedback.  How would you improve on Harry?  I was going for a anti-hero hero, some one who's kind of a jerk but still relatable.  The footnote references that Jennifer is related to a character in another screenplay I wrote, an omage to Kevin Smith.  Yes, I've written a few, scary.  I omaged Kevin Smith, even scarier?

don't know how you make harry more likeable. he just seems like he's in it for himself. yes, he catches the meth lab guy next door and he foils the temp's attempt at corporate espionage but that doesn't really help anyone i care about, it just makes him look good.

think of will smith in 'hancock'. i'm sure you've seen it since you have to be a movie buff to write about a movie buff. he's a jerk, sure, a drunk and a lout and all that. but he saves jason bateman's life. and he saves the convenience store clerk from being robbed/shot. and he takes care of the little french bully. and in the end he nearly dies trying to save charlize theron. he helps people and that makes him likeable despite all his faults.

even if harry had stiff armed that mugger in the end to get that mean old ladies' purse back, that would have helped. or if he had saved jennifer from overaggressive advances by rocco. something like that.

i don't know. i'm just riffing here but i really wanted to like the guy, just couldn't. you're close, though. real close.

hope that helps.