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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  The Manager Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: February 1st, 2010, 7:54pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Manager: Pilot Episode by Mark Rennie - Series - A failing band, decide to hire a manger, with a unusual consequence. 7 pages - doc, format


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bangston_15
Posted: February 17th, 2010, 7:55pm Report to Moderator
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Well, I thought I would read this because no one has given you input yet.

First of all, it's not good. I didn't read the content because the formatting was all wrong. I'm not going to be too hard on you about it, because for all I know, this is your first script. It looks very...very...similar to the first scripts I wrote with everything centered. Don't do this.

If you want to continue this series or screenwriting at all, go to Barnes and Noble and pick up a copy of Screenwriting for Dummies. This is what I did. Read it cover to cover. It helped a bunch. Then read scripts posted on the site and study them like they are your best friend.

After you've done all that, come back ready to write.

--Bangston


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Sam_Pryce
Posted: May 16th, 2010, 3:02pm Report to Moderator
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Ok, the script is very, very cheesy. I agree with Bangston, the script is in the wrong format but I had the same problem of Microsoft Word 2007 putting too many extra lines in when I wrote Knickcrick Comprehensive. I think also that it is too short. Unless you want it to last 5 minutes.
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