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Ok I read it, but I don't really understand it. Would this be a short film? I guess so. Who's Tom at the end? The story is, some people get killed, some other people go looking for the victims, they find the killer, the killer stabs everyone, he escapes, the end. And Tom hopes something exciting will happen. Why does Kyle talk so stupid? You said something about an accent but I have no idea what nationality. I read it because I had a similar movie idea in my head about a man killing his cast but after reading your idea my concept is so different I can't even see how I thought it could be similar. Anyways I'm sorry I wasn't more positive I just really couldn't see it in my head. I know you might not like me but I have some material on the site and I wouldn't mind hearing your opinion. My script s called "The Seven of April"
Thanks for reading it and I know its not really that very good but its my first script and its surposed to be like a dark comedy, and Kyle is a wigger and david is surposed to have a sourthen accent, I'm still doing rewrites im adding and taking off things on it and Im not upset im glad you read it and tell me what you think, if you comment WHAT THE F@#% IS THIS SH*$!!, I still get upset (it would make me cry lol jk) so thanks guys and when im done with this script Im going to make this into a you tube video http://www.youtube.com/RawlsBoysTV cause Im a wana be filmmaker I know Im not good but I have nothing to lose but for money, really thanks for reading.
I got through one page and stopped. The poor writing and lack of punctuation was more than I could stand.
You have to crawl before you can walk. You have to learn to write before you can write screenplays. Not to be too harsh, but your writing will not be taken seriously if it has fundamental flaws.