Chundergrads Pilot by David Marsden and Jack Wesley Newsome - Short, Comedy - It focuses on Phil, who is a stereotypical student and one who is completely normal thus easily relatable;b he is funny and charming yet hasn’t come to terms with this yet. It is based on Phil's experiences at university and with his peculiar and exceptionally crude friends Norman, Jamie, Marco and Porter. All adding a both boyish yet comedic element to the mix. It is a situational comedy with the occasional dramatical scene.  35 pages - pdf, format

Chundergrads Episode 2 by David Marsden and Jack Wesley Newsome - Short, Comedy - Episode 2 - pdf, format

Alright, read the first script. It was okay. Some of the old jokes are old fashioned, some very very stereotypical, some not quite there. Excessive vomit too. But there are definately good bits in there which did make me laugh, which is more then I can say for some television stuff. Your main character needs more then he has - more then just some average guy he needs to be more vulnerable to fucking up - especially in a sitcom. Of probably more concern is that your episode ended on something of an anti climax - they went out. They went home, it ended.

There was good dialogue in it, but the problems are more structural. You don't really have the whole catalyst, crisis point, resolution plot graph here. You need more of a plot in the episode (imo) to get more out of the characters. That said, I haven't read episode two so maybe it kicks off there. Till tommorow, perhaps.

Okay, done episode two, and again theres a little bit of a lack of structured plot. You have these stereotypes again which the script seems to rely upon, which I'm not sure about but that seem's to be the way you are going, so stick with it. The plot structure is the biggest issue.

I read it and agree about the stereotypes and vomit.

I also strongly suggest some basic proofreading. Cleaning up the many grammar/spelling errors will help readers take you more seriously.