All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
I don't really know what to say this. Was this written to some specific course requirement or school assignment? It plays out like a cheesy 1960s safe sex message delivered to school children. Other than that or some religious message Im not entirely sure I see the point?
Yea I want to be fair when I write reviews, so I'll say that this is pretty bad. The dialogue isnt even right for a spoof, and there is no puncuation. Michelle Obama being in it doesn't make it any funnier. This is almost offensive, and I write offensive jokes all the time.
I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.
"Career" Highlights -2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page. -One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back. -I have made more than $1000 with my writing! -I've won 2 mugs... and a thong. (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)
This was pretty awful, Corey. At first, I thought you were trying to be campy. Then I realized it was just awful.
This script might have meant something if Michele Obama spoke against pre-marital sex (maybe she has; I don't know), but it just seems like something that you wrote on the school bus on the way home from school one afternoon. Typos and bad grammar only support this.
Typo in the title "martial" should be "marital" I think.
Blank title page.
No FADE IN, no ages for cast, no descriptions, typo's all over...and I still went ahead and read it! Shite!
Anyway, I have a problem with writing about kids. Have to stay on this side of the line. I thought this one transgressed and I was left feeling disturbed, a little unclean.
That's just my humble opinion. Others may disagree.
Martin.
My Scripts:
Hail The Cabbie. Appx. 9 pages A taxi ride to the absolute terminus.
Pink is the New Black.10 pages. Homophobes beware!
The Bullet Train. 5 pages. Economy equals retribution.
Pillow Talk. 4 pages. It's hard to bear sometimes.
The perfect Ending. 8 pages. Amy's present is her past.
Well, I hate to jump on the bandwagon - but I have to admit this was pretty bad. Same thing others have commented on...lack of punctuation, typos and cheesy dialogue. I *actually* think that the Michelle Obama part could have worked (or maybe use Sarah Palin instead)...but only if written with a little more thought put into it, and snappy writing.
It was suppose to be a joke were Michelle Obama speaks out against premarital sex by endorsing masturbation. I wrote it in 5 mins , and just wanted to see what people thought.
It was suppose to be a joke were Michelle Obama speaks out against premarital sex by endorsing masturbation. I wrote it in 5 mins , and just wanted to see what people thought.
My man. ignore these ameuters, this was bloody brilliant. I kept on chuckling and chuckling until i burst into a fit of laughter. Another reason to despise this community, a great script being slagged on. Short and sweet. Well done
Charming man
If you have a success you have it for the wrong reasons. If you become popular it is always because of the worst aspects of your work.
Pages: 1, 
Author
Pre martial sex PSA
Logged
Locked Board