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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Cyberspace Moderators: bert
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Posted: July 23rd, 2011, 10:19am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Cyberspace by Wayne Moore (levelsup) - Comedy - Two girls go on holiday causing havoc everywhere they go. 80 pages - pdf, format

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Posted: July 23rd, 2011, 11:43am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

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Holy shit, this looks a mess! If you do nothing else, at least get rid of all the headers and footers on every page. I scanned all the way down and aesthetically, this is one of the ugliest looking screenplays I've ever seen. Read a lot of scripts and learn what you are doing wrong, then go through and fix all the mistakes in this. At the moment, this is unreadable so nobody will be able to give you any feedback on the actual story.
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Posted: July 23rd, 2011, 11:58am Report to Moderator

Akron, Ohio
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Work on the logline. It really doesn't compel me to read it or tell me what to kind of expect.
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