The Long Winter - Episode 01 by Liam Kavanagh - Series, TV Pilot - A group of friends take the law into their own hands, but find their search for justice is a case of the blind leading the blind. 60 pages - pdf, format

Interesting logline but doesnt really read like a tv series,however I was intrigued by it.
The first thing I noticed was HOW much YOU used CAPS in YOUR descriptions. Its good to use this to draw the reader towards something that is important on the screen but I felt you used it a little too much and for someone who is really picky they might just not bother reading on after a few paragraphs. I know it seems small but often it is little things like this that distracts people.
Also I think you need to tighten your descriptive paragraphs a little. Dont get me wrong, you do a decent job of describing what we are seeing, I just feel the descriptions could be a little leaner and more to the point. At the start of page 7 you have 7 paragraphs before anyone speaks,they may be small but you could easily cut it down to 2 or 3. If you read lots of scripts you will realise that 'less is more' on most occassions.
Are you from Ireland? Is this set in Ireland? Alot of people that might read your script may not fully understand the dialogue, just be aware of that. I was reading this in a Belfast accent for some reason lol.
Anyways thats all for now, ive only read 16pgs but will come back when I have time. I wanna see where this goes.
Good Luck

Gavino, writing for tv is different than writing a screenplay... 3 cam shows structure their teleplays in all caps.  But looking thru this one, it's not nowhere near formated in the proper teleplay standard.