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The Childrens Author (currently 997 views)
Posted: June 2nd, 2012, 3:35pm
So, what are you writing?
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The Childrens Author
by Ronald K. Jones - Drama - Ultra-conservative children's author, Margarete Ferrell, has her beliefs and humanity tested when a black family moves in next door with an adopted 8-year-old West African boy whose unchristian, tribal beliefs ignite suspicion and prejudice in her and her typical American middle class family (circa early 21st Century). It takes a near fatal stroke suffered by Margarete's aging husband to bring the festering wounds and fears between the family and its neighbors out into the open, and to a final resolving of their conflicts, even curing Margarete's terrible writer's block. 64 pages - pdf, format
Posted: June 2nd, 2012, 6:17pm
Invercargill, New Zealand
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From reading your logline, I can tell you that I rally really want to read this. Anything involving racial prejudice has to be good! However, I can't get past the first page, because your action paragraphs are in CAPS!
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Posted: June 3rd, 2012, 9:24am
Let The Sky Fall
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Not too sure that you need all the character information here ...
And the CAPS is very off-putting. Re. you log-line - it appears to be almost a synopsis. ## EXT.SHOT OF -- not need to specify 'shot' in your slug line. INT, POLICE STATION -- should be INT. POLICE STATION - DAY Your dialogue lines aren't formatted correctly - looks like you may not be using any additional software to help you write this? I think you need to check a couple of scripts, really, to see how they look and how they are written.
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