Disc of Love by Brandon Bushman - Short, Comedy -  Larry is leaving town to go see his family, but his good friend/ roommate Gary is acting strange. Larry tries to find out why, but all he receives is a mix CD from Gary. On the way to Larry's parents he discovers what is on the mysterious disc.    7 pages - pdf, format

This one was a little long for me.
I think you could definitely cut  at least a half page or more from the beginning.
I like the concept, and it would probably play much better if you could hear the music.
It's something that would probably work very well on SNL.

SPOLIERS:
When he woke up from the dream, I thought that you were just going to end it, but I loved the twist at the very end.
Made me laugh a little.

Overall, I liked it. Good job.

Here are a few typos I found--
Pg. 1 - you have two your/you're switches. And missing a few commas.

Pg. 2 - "stars", instead of "starts". Missing question marks after "what's up" and "what is it"
you spelled "definitely" wrong.

Pg. 3 - two you're/your switches. Missing "'s" after "there". Missing "a" before "soft mellow tune".
The last sentence on the page, you don't have the first word capitalized.

There are quite a few commas missing throughout.

Hey Brandon.

I'm not really one for skits, but I guess I could see this one working on Saturday Night Live.

Of course, for this to work better, we'd have to see it on-screen, with the music and actually seeing Larry's reaction to the songs.

I see you tried putting a twist in there, but I think it might work a bit better if it were told straight up, with no parlor tricks or anything.

Lol, I couldn't help but laugh at this line:  "Gary repetitively stabs Larry while he is driving."  When I first read it, I thought it said 'Gary respectively stabs Larry'.

But that's also the part where the story got too corny for my tastes.

But like I said, the music and his reaction to it is the strength of this one and would work in a skit.

- Mark

I think a poof listening to AC/DC or Metalica would have been scarier, not that there's any thing wrong with that!

Brandon,

This is a story about two homosexual men who are most deeply in love with each other.

If a person have a dream about another person in this manner, They are most extremely in love with each other.

If a person who fit into this gender, This story can relate to them.

Could be a good short Saturday Night Live comedy.

Darryl

Brandon,

There's something odd about Barry and Jerry. Maybe it was the cheesy dialogue you gave them. I don't know. I didn't quite understand how Harry was straight considering he professed his love for Terry through the CD. So when he said they were both straight in his dream, I was confused. But I must say I was completely taken by surprise when Kerry began to "repetitively stab" Perry. It was effective.

-J.S.