Past Transgressions by  Charles W Mitchell - Action, Crime - Shari Chen, whose goal is to become a detective who would have made her great-grandfather proud, is put to the test when she learns her parents’ deaths 17 years earlier were no accident. But does she have the skills to track the murders down let alone to bring them to justice? 108 pages - pdf, format

@Charles...

A female Charlie Chan, that's just what we need.  About two years ago, there was talk about an updated version of Charlie Chan, with Lucy liu in the lead role. Don't know whatever became of it.  Nevertheless...
I've always been a fan of Charlie Chan movies(not that this is one) but I gave this one a look.

Some things to consider...

-- Your logline is the roadmap for your script but it only indicates the setup.  In your case, that's not a logline you have there.

-- Your opening scene, this, for me, is a "Yeahbut... I get it... you're establishing San Fransisco, with some sort of a sweeping shot.  If I were looking at this on the big screen, I'm sure the audience would see enough historical landmarks to know where this takes place.  I guess what I'm trying to say... DISCLAIMER; there's nothing wrong with using that "SUPER" but personally, I wouldn't here.

-- the opening nightclub scene, no need to drag that out. I'd consider cutting it in half, as well as the scene inside the police station, but... the biggest gripe that I have so far with your script...the main character (protagonist) SHARI CHEN.

--No clear cut definition on this,  well-- there is, but... I'd get the reader into the Main character's shoes or in this case high heels as quickly as possible, so there's no confusion as to whose running the show , or POV, driving the story, ect...  Not saying you need to introduce her on the first page, but...

...JMHO... page#13.  I'm not saying it's too late, but... sooner than later would be best because you've got to remember, you really only have the first ten pages to hook the reader.

--If it were me, I'd probably introduce her right away, doesn't have to be anything long or drawn out, but a strong opening.  Maybe a page...maybe she's in the middle of solving a case, or catching a bad guy, ect... then cut to the nightclub with "BENNY LIM."  It's what i would do, but here's the kicker, it's not my script, it's yours... just something to think about going forward.

--"smalltime" I'm thinking... "small-time."

--Speaking of the interrogation scene, it was way over the top, I'd redo that whole  BAD COP angle, make it more realistic, but subtle.  Just spitballing here, maybe have JORDAN throw his jacket over the camera, or have him tell YABLONSKI to go turn it off, and work around that, but regardless, I highly recommend you re-think that scene.

--it reads okay, so far, some of the writing, it's a bit redundant.  Would I keep reading--?  For now, despite the fact you haven't hooked me yet.  But I stopped at page #15.  I'd be willing to continue and offer feedback, but it's not enough to just show up-- you need to participate.

Good luck,

Ghostwriter