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If There Were Something by James Wendland - Comedy - An overly ambitious young reporter is determined to expose death as a hoax. 91 pages - pdf, format
James, haven't seen you around before, so I'll give you just a very brief review here. Your formatting is a bit off. Here's your first slug:
INT. THE LIVING ROOM OF JOURNALIST ANN PARKS
Too much info. Just need to say INT. HOUSE - and then add MORNING or DAY or NIGHT so we know when the action is occurring. You could also say INT. LIVING ROOM followed by the time of day.
You go on for four paragraphs about Ann Parks and everything you say is an unfilmable. Think of it this way: how much of what you wrote in those three paragraphs could we determine by what we see on the screen in that first scene? One, that she is young, and two, that she is on the telephone. Write exactly what you are showing us and nothing more.
Your fifth paragraph has numerous grammatical errors--I don't know what you were trying to say there.
When the character speaks, just provide their first name. Last names are not needed.
This needs a lot of work and editing. Go find some good scripts--there are plenty online here--and see how they are formatted and how the characters names are used and how action sequences are done. Keep writing and you'll be better at it before you know it. Best of luck.
Gary
Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
I agree with everything Gary said above. Lots of issues throughout.
82 pages is a little too short for a feature-- and thanks to the unfilmables/overwriting, the story itself is probably closer to 75. I recommend getting it closer to the 95-110 page range.
Well, I'll say this: you have a very vivid imagination. I think I get what what you're going for but it'd be very hard to pull off. It would take tremendous filmmaking and casting to pull the disco scene off.
I'd like to give you specifics but literally every word you've typed is wrong from a screenplay stand point. And I mean everything.
The whole script reads more like an intsruction manual than a screenplay.