Spite by Holly - Short, Psychological, Thriller, Mystery - She was supposed to die but a miracle saved her life. Some miracles however can be worse than death. 18 pages - pdf, format

Holly-

I can tell that you were passionate about the story, but honestly, the formatting and style errors are so prevalent, that it's tough to read. When there's no title on the title page, it's not a good sign of things to follow.

No need to write, "we see" or "then he walks", etc. Just describe the action or scene in a way that the readers see it for themselves.

You could likely benefit from some script software, which you can find free online.

Hang in there. There's nothing you're doing that can't easily be fixed, which will then let the story come out.

Holly, there are a few problems you've got going in here.  As Bogey mentioned, if you're going to have a title page (and you should), you need to have the title and contact information on that page.

This may be your first attempt at a script, and if so, I commend you for your effort.  However, it's apparent that you need some primers in formatting.  There is a page on the board here where you can get a lot of answers to your questions about proper formatting or screenwriting in general: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/m-1194903750/

Just a couple of quick hits: you need a FADE IN at the beginning.  Drop the CONTINUED: at the top of each page.  Your slugs need to read as follows:

INT. HOSPITAL -- DAY (OR NIGHT/AFTERNOON OR WHATEVER TIME OF DAY IT IS)

Your action sequences need to really be chopped down.  There's way too much exposition going on there, stuff that the director should decide on but shouldn't be in the script.  Your writing isn't bad, it's just way too descriptive.  Keep your action sequences to four lines or less for ease of reading.

You don't properly introduce Amber or the man (or any other character for that matter)--give us his/her name in all caps in the opening action sequence and a very brief description of him/her (how old he or she is, for example).  When Amber speaks, you have a wrylie next to the dialogue that should instead go under Amber's name and above the dialogue, as such:

                        AMBER
                  (whispering)
                         No...

Okay, that's enough to start.  Read some other scripts on this site and get an idea of what some of the better ones look like.  Keep working on it and as Bogey said, you should look in to getting some free screenwriting software like Trelby or Celtx online to help with your formatting.  Good luck!

Gary