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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Andretta Moderators: bert
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  Author    Andretta  (currently 4992 views)
Don
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 11:34am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Andretta by Sean Chipman (Mr. Blonde) - Action, Adventure - Upon arriving in the crime-ridden metropolis of Andretta, a revenge-driven vigilante puts himself in the middle of a four-sided gang war on the day the government declares their city a no man's land. 104 pages - pdf, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

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Don  -  August 28th, 2013, 4:57pm
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 11:50am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Okay, before anyone decides to endure this, I should explain that there will be a lot of unresolved plotlines in here. This is part 1 of a trilogy I've designed. Just felt it was worth mentioning. Hope you enjoy it.

The best way I've been able to describe this scripts is, it's a mash-up of Escape From L.A., The Punisher (2004) and Yojimbo. Take from that what you will... Lol.



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Mr. Blonde  -  July 5th, 2013, 1:47pm
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Leegion
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 12:20pm Report to Moderator
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As a fellow "saga" writer myself, I enjoy not knowing everything in the first part of a trilogy/franchise.  Gives you freedom to write however you want to.

I like the sound of it by the logline.  Definitely suits my reading material as I like fantasy-style action movies (not sure if this is fantasy, but Andretta sounds like a fantasy style city (even if the name is from Italy ).

Will read, cover some notes and give you my impressions.  I will start this later with a tasty beverage and snack.

Lee
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Dreamscale
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 1:03pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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I'll read it, Sean.  But not this weekend.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Leegion
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 3:07pm Report to Moderator
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I got 12 pages in thus far.  Very good.  Detail is excellent yet not too overwhelming.  The action is nice, condensed and precise.  I could learn a lot from this and I am enjoying it thoroughly.

No notes thus far.  No mistakes at all.  Everything is top notch here.

Lee
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: July 5th, 2013, 7:57pm Report to Moderator
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Lee,

Glad you're liking it so far. Don't feel like you have to rush through it or anything.

Also, anyone who wants a return read, just let me know and send me a link, please, either in the thread or through a PM.


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Leegion
Posted: July 13th, 2013, 1:00pm Report to Moderator
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I have some down time this weekend.  

Too.  Damn.  Hot.  

Will get a bit further in on this, as I am also reading several other scripts too.  
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: July 13th, 2013, 1:16pm Report to Moderator
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Lee,

Don't read any further. I don't want you to waste your time because I'm putting this through a major re-write. Just letting you know in advance. =)

-Sean


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Leegion
Posted: July 13th, 2013, 1:21pm Report to Moderator
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Oh, okay.  Well, once the re-write is done I'll give that a read instead.

Lee
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NickSedario
Posted: July 14th, 2013, 9:07am Report to Moderator
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Whether it be in rewrite mode or not, at a glance this script is tightly written - format-wise.  I'll be interested in seeing the next version.  
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Beckett
Posted: July 19th, 2013, 11:53am Report to Moderator
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Hey Sean

I think i will 'endure' this . i want to learn a thing or two about rewrites if that's alright.

and judging from the comments this will be a good script to learn from anyway.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: July 20th, 2013, 1:14pm Report to Moderator
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Beckett,

Obviously, if you want to read it, by all means. I only put that up so people could read, if they wanted, the most recent version when it is eventually ready (probably in about two or three weeks).


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NickSedario
Posted: July 28th, 2013, 10:02am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
I'll read it, Sean. But not this weekend.


Curious to hear your feedback on this one.  
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: July 28th, 2013, 12:07pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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You know what? I changed my mind. If you guys want to read the script as is, go for it. My rewrite was to take out dialogue. The story itself wasn't going to change very much in this initial rewrite, so you wouldn't find much of a difference in the new one versus this one. If you do read it, what I said still stands. If you have something for me to read as well, either PM me or link it to me here. Either way works. =)


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: August 28th, 2013, 8:38pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Just putting it out there that the sort-of rewrite for Andretta is now active. I cut 13 pages out of it, mostly dialogue and some boring parts of the story. Hoping the rest of it works out for you. =)


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