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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Starring The Rock Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: August 9th, 2013, 10:10pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Starring The Rock by Alex Gonzalez - Thriller - When Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson quits wrestling and action movies a sadistic director makes him the target in a horrifying snuff film.  134 pages - pdf, format


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nawazm11
Posted: August 9th, 2013, 11:09pm Report to Moderator
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Sorry Alex but the first page needs A LOT of work. Sorry to say but the more I read, the more I laughed. I think this might be another one of the scripts that goes in the The Cabin and Damn You Bruce category. "GRITTY SHAKY CAMERA ANGLE" This is the best line I've ever read.

Really though, it's a hard script to take seriously, man. I swore this was a comedy but then you seem to put it in the thriller category... Will be interesting to see the writer's thoughts.
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courhaw
Posted: August 9th, 2013, 11:23pm Report to Moderator
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I'll give you this, it's a cool concept. But, at 134 pgs, I'm afraid that it's, likely, too heavy and, thus, chock with too much of everything, primarily exposition and scenes that drag on for far too long. So, if you can lop off this monster's excess, and shore it up into a sleek, svelte, lean, mean fighting machine, then I will go another round with it, too. Hope for the best for you, Alex. Why not just say they're speaking in Japanese? Unless you meant to say that their English is terrible-sounding? Just use Japanese, Alex. It's cleaner.
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courhaw
Posted: August 10th, 2013, 12:04am Report to Moderator
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After even more of this script, I think this would cool on the level of Get Shorty. Good deal, Alex. Pare it down though.
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Guest
Posted: August 10th, 2013, 2:10am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from nawazm11
Sorry Alex but the first page needs A LOT of work. Sorry to say but the more I read, the more I laughed. I think this might be another one of the scripts that goes in the The Cabin and Damn You Bruce category. "GRITTY SHAKY CAMERA ANGLE" This is the best line I've ever read.

Really though, it's a hard script to take seriously, man. I swore this was a comedy but then you seem to put it in the thriller category... Will be interesting to see the writer's thoughts.


I will say the title grabbed my attention.

Even the logline.  

I wanted to read this.

Could have been a fun idea, if not just for shits and giggles.

However, the first page is just a complete turn off.

Big blocks of text, plus "gritty shaky camera angle", made me shake my head...
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rolo
Posted: August 10th, 2013, 6:51pm Report to Moderator
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Gave the first 12 pages or so a read. It reads more like a comedy (though not a particularly funny comedy) than a thriller.

I can see that you're a fan of 'The Rock' and that's no bad thing in my book! However, your script actually has him acknowledging that he's not a good actor and has to take acting lessons if he wants to be taken serious! I can feel the 'Rock bottom' and 'the people's elbow' coming your way!

Joking apart, no actor, least of all, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson is going to admit on camera that their acting skills are lacking!! Well, not in a thriller anyways. And even in a comedy it'd be a tough ask.

You need to lose the camera directions and 'Gritty shaky camera angle' thing if you want your script to be taken seriously.
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