Stranger by Brett Bentman - Short - In the future, you are controlled. The only way out is to run… 16 pages - pdf, format

Brett,

I really enjoyed your writing here.  It reads fluidly, with hardly any asides, and the one's that are there only add to the story, IMO.  

I kept pace with Marie, got a feel for her plight and sympathized with her.  Your visuals were descriptive and not over done.

Norman was a good baddie:  cool, collected and persistant at any cost.  The scariest bad guys, I think, are the ones that just keep coming at their own pace.  It gives you the feeling that they know they are gonna get exactly what they want.

Everything was great until...

SPOILER

Where's the ending?  Damn, it was going so well.  I was so invested in your characters and I really wanted to see how it played out.  Okay, I get the sense the Marie knows Norman from someplace in her past.  But where does she know him from?  Maybe it doesn't really matter.  It ratchets up the tension anyway.  But to have this thing end in a Mexican stand off left me feeling I got rooked here!

Did I miss something important along the way?  Please tell me what it was.

Okay, I'll guess that Norman gets his man -- or in this case, woman.  But guessing the end to a good short like this leaves me feeling empty.  Fantastic work here, Brett, but give me an ending.

Steve