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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  The Outliers Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: October 13th, 2013, 3:17pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Outliers by William B. Secor - Drama, Coming of Age - A handicapped high school student who is a musical prodigy must make decisions regarding his future and relationships with family and friends, especially a young female singer he is mentoring. 125 pages - doc, format


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Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  February 3rd, 2014, 5:20pm
revised draft
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Gaviano
Posted: October 22nd, 2013, 6:21am Report to Moderator
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I write therefore I am...

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Hi William,

Your log line is incorrect. It reads more like a short synopsis.

I read through the first few pages but it's not in correct screenwriting format. Perhaps you should acquire Final Draft or something similar.

To be honest I stopped reading after the 2nd page because your opening paragraph kinda gives you away. Is this a shooting script? You mention background music but you do it in a conversational way.

The slugs and action lines were kinda all messed up.

Sorry.

-Gavin



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