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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Utopia Moderators: bert
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  Author    Utopia  (currently 1331 views)
Don
Posted: January 3rd, 2014, 1:36pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Utopia by Taher Abdel-Ghani - Thriller - A dystopian Egypt in the year 2023. The decadent rich live in secured compounds while the poor are trapped outside in a dog-eat-dog world. 62 pages - pdf, format


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LuisAnthony
Posted: January 7th, 2014, 11:39am Report to Moderator
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Okay, first of all the page count is too much for a short and too little for a feature length film. With the actual script itself, keep the action lines at the most 4 lines long. The longline seems like it could be an interesting story; That being said, I might read it.
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Forgive
Posted: January 7th, 2014, 6:20pm Report to Moderator
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Let The Sky Fall

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Hi - this was a little tricky to read... I can see that English isn't your first language, but your script needs re-working quite a lot.

This looks like a first attempt at a screenplay.

I was left wondering if you know the author or not, as a google search reveals him to be quite well established, which leaves me wondering if he would give his blessing to you adaptation? Not sure really.
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TaherAbdelghani
Posted: January 11th, 2014, 3:08pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you for your input....What about the quality itself?? What do you think of the structure, or the characters, etc...???
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