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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Pièce de Résistance Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: March 26th, 2014, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Pièce de Résistance by Anthony Nelson - Short, Political - A visual short depicting a well written stage performance where everyone has a part to play. - pdf, format


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RegularJohn
Posted: March 26th, 2014, 7:03pm Report to Moderator
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Every 23 months for 23 days, Johnny writes.

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Hey Anthony.

I suggest you keep from naming and using songs in your scripts.  Copyright and all that stuff.

"...oozes organized chaos..."  Reads awkwardly to me.

A lot of description on this first page.  There are things going on but no action so to speak.  Nothing seems to be moving the plot along and I don't really know who we're following.

So a lot of description, too much for my liking.  You could probably cut a page or maybe more out and still retain the same story.

As for the story, I'm not sure I get it.  It may be me over-thinking it but hopefully you chime in and explain it to me.  Take care.

Johnny


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