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I tried to read this but honestly could not get past the first page... which was formatted incorrectly. Now, as the title page was incorrectly formatted, I did not have too much hope for the rest of the script. And unfortunately, my fears were confirmed
Have a read of the professional scripts posted on this site (http://www.simplyscripts.com/movie.html) and download some proper screenwriting software (Celtx is both free and pretty good) because, unfortunately, most people will not read anything formatted as incorrectly as this script is.
Hey Katrina, I like the title. Great song by The weeknd had. On to the script, when I sent my writer friend my first script. He said, "This is like reading something with horrible handwriting. If you're serious about screenwriting get your formatting right" That's my advice for you.
I pushed through the formatting and read the story. I think the above resource is really wonderful for learning formatting and will do you some good to check out!
I think there's a lot of promise for an interesting story, but it's buried beneath an excess of detail and unrealistic situations. I think it's important to understand that an important yet often overlooked aspect of films is that it has to be believable.
A great place to really start honing in and reworking is your dialogue. It doesn't read like it's someone talking. I would suggest either having someone read it out loud with you to really hear how it flows and where it sounds awkward, or read it aloud as you're typing it.
I hope any of this is helpful! Good luck and happy writing
"If it can be written or thought, it can be filmed."